Five and a half months after I gave birth, I received a rather rude comment about my weight and after discussing it on social media, I also felt compelled to write an entire blog post about it. I wrote the majority of this post right after while the topic was still fresh but never published it until now. I usually try not to pay attention to negativity anywhere in my life but when it’s so appalling and based upon all of the feedback, it needs to be addressed. So many of us women struggle with body image and our weight every single day. Whether you’ve had a baby or not, you’re underweight or overweight, or struggle with your body image, it’s something that is very difficult to talk about on a public forum of any kind.
Personally, I’ve never had any weight issues. I’ve been thin my whole life and have alway been able to eat whatever and as much as I wanted. And believe me girlfriend, I could eat! My metabolism has always been good to me. After getting pregnant for the first time last January and then experiencing my horrific miscarriage, my body began to change. When I became pregnant the second time and after giving birth, I thought for sure the pounds would just fall off right away. Well..they didn’t. I gained 27 lbs. during my pregnancy which was nearly one third of my starting weight. After delivery, the first 15 lbs. came off rather quickly however, the rest is, well..still here on me (lol).
Now, I’m still about 8-10 pounds heavier than before my first pregnancy and about 6 pounds more than before my second pregnancy. I’m not the same size as I was before both pregnancies and my waistline is nothing like it used to be. I tell you all of this because I am completely comfortable sharing it.
Having a baby completely changes your body in every way possible. How can it not? You create and carry a tiny human being for nine months so you cannot expect your body to be the same. I see other women and all these celebrities who instantly get their pre-pregnancy body back within weeks and I’m thinking to myself..
“is there something wrong with me?”
Granted, I didn’t exercise for nearly six months after delivery so obviously I can’t be too hard on myself by expecting results. The first three months of Milan’s life were so incredibly difficult and taxing with her surgery and resulting infection and just me getting used to being a new Mommy – I barely had time to do anything. The last thing on my mind would be getting my body back in shape. It wasn’t until a couple months ago that I started to make a conscious effort to go for daily walks. I try to do this at least every other day even if it’s for 15 minutes just to get some fresh air and the blood flowing, so to speak.
I think we as women are so hard on ourselves. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be thin. Society fills our brains with these ideal body types and these “perfect” images are plastered all over TV, magazines and social media. How can we not feel bad about ourselves when we constantly compare our bodies to tall, skinny models, actresses and photoshopped images that constantly flash before our eyes?
When Milan got eczema about three months ago right after I went back to Minnesota to visit my family, I had to revise my diet to to eliminate any foods that may be causing her skin to flare up. I cut out diary, gluten, processed foods and wheat. Boy was this tough! This topic is for a whole different post because there’s so much to get into. I inadvertently lost a little weight just by being aware of what I ate. This was such a new concept to me because I was used to always eating whatever I wanted to.
Being photographed in outfits that will be displayed online after giving birth has been challenging to say the least. Nothing seems to fit the way it used to or the way that I want it to fit. Have I gone through times where I just want to curl up in a ball and cry about my extra body weight? Of course! But then I have to check myself and remember that it doesn’t matter. I’m still breast feeding and need the extra calories. As long as Milan is healthy and growing each day…my waist size and how much I weigh is completely irrelevant. I love and appreciate my body for what it was able to do and what it continues to do for my baby.
The reason for this post is for any woman out there that hates her body or is currently struggling with weight issues or just doesn’t feel good about themselves…I want to remind you that you are beautiful. Love your body. Treat your body and yourself with respect. Don’t wish to be a different size. If you’re healthy, then be grateful.
After Milan’s surgery and going through the most difficult time in my entire life, I realized that you only get ONE chance at life. Your health is most important. You can have all the money in the world, all the clothes and shoes you want but if you don’t have your health, you have nothing.
As I mentioned on Instagram and Facebook about the comments regarding my weight, we as women need to seriously stop judging each other. We should be cheering each other on and supporting one another and simply be kind to everyone. There is no reason to discuss a woman’s weight or appearance EVER.
Sweater dress (xxsp) // Gingham shirt (xxsp) // J.Crew sadie bag (old, similar HERE) // Claara block heel sandals // c/o kate spade watch // Mac lipstick in diva // Lip pencil in currant // Loft faux pearls (similar HERE) // Nail polish // Tory Burch sunglasses (similar HERE)
On a side note, this sweater dress is 40% off! Sizing runs true to size and it’s slightly boxy. I love the length and color – would definitely recommend it! If you want to layer it with a button up, add a tank like THIS ONE over the shirt to alleviate any bulges. This smooths everything out and works like a charm! Also, tonight is the last night to get 50% off at Ann Taylor! See what I bought HERE.
I love positive quotes so I’ll leave you with this one by Eleanor Roosevelt…”Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
I am glad that you posted about this. People can be so rude and insensitive! I am sorry that you went through that and I am glad Milan is OK. I can certainly attest to the changes your body goes through after having a baby (I’ve had four myself and it took me two years after my fourth to get to my pre-baby weight). I am definitely NOT the same as I was pre-babies, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are our own worst critics though and it takes a lot of self-love to be happy with our own body image.
April | http://thebluehydrangeas.com
HI April! Congrats on having 4! That’s amazing! I agree – we are our own worst critics. It’s definitely harder when you’re in the public eye too!
Annie, this is a great blog post. Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and honestly. Btw, I think you always look fabulous and we as women need to build eackother up and not compete or tear down one another.
Hi Debbie! Thank you! Women definitely need to support each other more – it’s sad that it this top is even brought up. 🙁
People can be rude. Really, if you had nothing nice to say, don’t say anything! Sorry you had to go through that, Annie. I think you are still in great shape and very beautiful! I have a baby girl who’s exactly one year old today so I can relate to your post!
Congrats Janice! It’s crazy what your body goes through before and after birth. I feel very blessed to have been able to experience it 🙂
Thank you so much for this post…. I have struggled for the last 4 years to lose the last of my baby weight. Before Katelyn I was a size 2 or 4 (depending on the designer) and now I am a 6. I get down on myself all the time for it. And I need to stop. I have an amazing daughter who is happy and healthy. A husband that adores me and a career that I love!
So thank you for this…
Hi Alisa! Girl you are amazing. Don’t get down on yourself EVER. You should be so proud of what you have and went through! You are blessed to a have a healthy and happy family! XOXO
People are rude and insensitive…. Dont pay attention to what they say. But I am so glad you made this post, this can be reassurance for so many girls out there following our blog. I never thought you were overweight, even if you did who cares…. You are beautiful, creative and proud mom of a beautiful little angel <3 infinite love to you !
Thank you so much! I was really disappointed when I see this happen on the internet. It happens more often than we think. I just hope people stop judging and start supporting each other. I really appreciate you reading! XO
Oh the mommy wars. Just remember it took 9 months to gain it, give yourself 9 months to lose it. I always as same weight different shape.
Agreed! And even if it takes longer than 9 months, that’s okay too!
Looks like the Loft 40% off sale is over? ????
omg they literally just switched the sale after this post went live! now they are running 60% off selected full price items…I haven’t checked to see if the dress is included?
Thanks for the inspiring post, even though I never birthed a child as a women we all have some type of issue with our body. But the quote you posted definitely struck a chord with me, discussing ideas is how we can all grow. Growing is key because that is how we can evolve and change.
Thanks for reading Anita! I agree – we all have our insecurities regardless of whether or not we’ve had a baby. I love that quote so much!
Hi Annie,
Sorry to hear about this. I think you always look amazing. Don’t let the negativity and haters get to you. I appreciate your honesty and how you share and use the negative and positive experiences to encourage others. Keep being you and move on. Love the quote!!
Hi Brooklyn! You are so sweet – thank you! I try not to let negative comments get to me but this one I just felt compelled to talk about. If it helps one person then it was worth it right? 🙂 XO
Annie, I just wanted to thank you for this honest and encouraging post!! You are beautiful inside and out!
Thank you so much Caitlyn! You are so sweet! <3
You still look beautiful and adorable!!! You still dress incredibly!! As long a fashion blogger keeps putting together outfits that look great on her, who cares if she gains or loses weight? I never got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight after my first. I carried about 10 more pounds. It was fine though, it was all muscle and breasts. I could wear all my pre pregnancy clothes except some shirts that no longer looked right with an increased cup size.
Aw thank you! I’m still breast feeding so I hear ya about shirts (especially button up ones) that don’t fit the same. lol
Love that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt! Such an important reminder of the type of people we should be and the conversations we should be having. Thanks for another great post, Annie!
Thank you Amy! That quote is one of my favorites! XOXO
Thank you for this wonderful and inspiring post. We women on a daily basis is struggling to do our very best. So kindness, empathy, and encouragement to each other would be helpful. Also, kudos for helping all of us look our best as well 🙂
Hi Tiffany! Thank you for reading! I love that there are so many women who do support each other – we all need positivity in our lives. There is already so much negative crap in the world!
Thank you so much Marsh! XO
I’m so in love with your stylish dress. Thank you for inspire us in each post!
Unfortunately there are people, other women included, who get off on making disparaging comments and trying to make other people feel bad about themselves. Best thing to do is ignore them. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. Keep writing inspirational posts like this.
xoxo,
Jane
http://www.janenorthey.com
Thank you Jane 🙂
Hi Annie,
I started following your blog several months before you had Milan, so I certainly saw how ‘petite’ you were and after you had your little precious baby. I thought you looked fantastic after baby! I am a mother of 3 grown children and certainly know the body/life changes after babies…. You have nothing to feel badly about … You’re doing an excellent job being a mother (the most important job!) busy with your blog and on being healthy. You’ve got your priorities straight and know what’s important in life. I wish women were more supportive of each other and not body bash..Like you said, ‘We’re our own worst critics’ we don’t need anymore negative voices in our heads!
Keep up the good work!
I needed this Jennifer! Thank you so much for your kind words! XO
I love, love, loved this post! Thank you for being so open and honest and reminding us that we all need to be nicer to each other =)
Thanks for reading Lizzie! XO
You are a great size! I do remember when you first started posting & joined your blog. I thought you were super tiny but you look more normal weight now. You are slender & that is all that matters. Think of it that way. When you get older & older you will need to weight more so lines & things don’t show up in your face or you pay a lot of money to keep up juvederm or some filler – LOL! You are beautiful & slender – the hater was jealous of you because they envy you!
Thanks Bonnie. I’m down to 94 lbs. which is only 2 lbs. more than my pre-pregnancy weight but as long as I’m healthy – that’s all that matters! Plus I’m still breast feeding so I need calories! Lol
Highly descriptive blog, I liked that bit. Will there be a part 2?
After going over a handful of the blog articles on your blog, I
really like your technique of writing a blog. I book
marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be
checking back soon. Please check out my web site as well and let me know how
you feel.
Hello, this weekend is fastidious designed for me, because
this point in time i am reading this impressive educational post here
at my house.
Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative.
I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate
if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from
your writing. Cheers!
I’m not sure why but this web site is loading very slow for me.
Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end?
I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.
Good information. Lucky me I recently found your site by chance (stumbleupon).
I have saved it for later!
My brother suggested I might like this web site.
He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent
for this information! Thanks!
Good answer back in return of this question with genuine arguments and explaining the whole
thing concerning that.
This is my first time pay a visit at here and i am genuinely impressed to
read everthing at single place.
Hello colleagues, its enormous piece of writing about cultureand fully explained, keep it up all the time.
First off I want to say fantastic blog! I had
a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind.
I was interested to find out how you center yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.
I have had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out.
I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to
15 minutes are lost simply just trying to figure out
how to begin. Any recommendations or hints? Kudos!
I take pleasure in, cause I discovered just what I was taking a look for.
You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice
day. Bye
Do you have a spam issue on this website; I also am a
blogger, and I was curious about your situation; many of us have created some nice methods and
we are looking to exchange methods with others, why not shoot me an email if interested.
Enjoyed every bit of your blog.Really thank you! Really Great.
Do not listen to those who want to criticize you, there is something lacking in them that they are projecting onto you. When I was your age, and before my children, I had a 24” waist!! After my second….I had fond memories of my that waist 🤣 and went from a 4 to a 6. but would not change a thing. Now I am past menopause and my body has morphed again, from a 6 to an 8…but I am very healthy and I don’t bash myself. I have buried too many people in my life over hideous diseases that, in comparison, a few lumps here and there are nothing. Be grateful for you and your family’s health….screw the rest….you do you
At the same time, a woman needs to comprehend what happened, get used to new feelings and sensations – this is also an important psychological stage. This is a multi-stage and difficult process, on the “quality” of which the psycho-emotional stability of the mother depends. Also, physical activity is equally important, because everyone wants to stay beautiful. Thanks for sharing!
Hello, thanks for your advice. My friend had long-term postpartum depression and anxiety. She could not get rid of it for a very long time and even began to take CBD. Childbirth is always difficult, with all the emerging