Isn’t it crazy how social media and blogs portray influencers to have this picture perfect life? Heck, I’ve been blogging for what seems like an eternity and I sometimes find myself scrolling and saying wow, she has a perfect life. She has it all. I’m here to tell you that it’s all fake. Okay, not all of it, but for the most part, it’s just a highlight reel of what people want you to see. It’s not real life.
By no means am I saying bloggers are fake or what they post is fake. It’s just part of our business. We have to post pretty pictures and cute outfits for sponsors, collaborations etc. That’s how we make our income. Most influencers are full time so we have no choice but to succumb to the pressure of posting beautiful photos and pretending that life is perfect. It’s necessary to survive in this very saturated market of influencers. Think about it, what brand or company wants to hire you if your feed looks like shit? I wouldn’t. I would want someone with amazing photos too!
I wanted to bring this up because since I started being more open about my recent struggles, I’ve gotten so many messages and emails about how people have followed me for years and thought I had a perfect life but now I’m more relatable because of what I’m going through. At first I’m like what? Perfect? OMG not even close! Then I take a step back and realized yeah based on my Instagram feed and blog, it does appear as if I had it all. To be honest, I thought I had it all at one point. Boy was I wrong. Clearly my life is the furthest thing from perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very blessed and grateful but you know what I’m saying.
Look, no one is perfect. No one’s life is perfect no matter how beautiful their blog or Instagram feed appears to be.
What I’ve been through and what I’m going through is despicable. Disgusting and unbelievable. I still have a hard time digesting it even though I smile for the camera and put on a brave face for Milan. There are NO words to describe what I’ve been through. Literally NO WORDS.
When I received a comment in my last post about how tacky and unprofessional my blog has been since I started cursing and sharing my struggles just really pissed me off. Sorry but cursing can be therapeutic and I will curse when I feel like it. If it offends you, sorry! I have ZERO tolerance for people who hide behind their computer screens and judge. If you don’t like what I’m posting, simply unsubscribe, unfollow and move on. There is no need to be rude or unkind especially to another woman who clearly is going through some difficult times. We should all support each other. Always. I will pray for them.
I feel like since letting my guard down and opening up, this is the real me. I feel free. It’s freaking liberating! I write what’s on my mind and what I’m feeling at that very moment. Unplanned and completely unpredictable. I used to plan everything out but now I write from my heart. There are times where I don’t even know what I’m going to blog about. After Milan goes to bed, I just type what’s on my mind. I share my thoughts and random things that I may pull from my own experiences or from the thousands of women who have reached out to me to share their story. I choose to share bits and pieces of what I’m going through in case you’re going through something similar, please know that you are NOT alone. It’s okay to hurt, cry and feel. Don’t be ashamed either because it’s not you. I almost feel like I have a purpose now besides sharing my love for fashion.
On another note, these faded black/dark gray jeans are amazing! Topshop petite jeans have been my go-to for the past several years. They fit me so well. The inseam is perfect for petite gals. No cuffing or alterations needed. Sizing is kind of funky and runs VERY SMALL so just go by the waist sizes. I’m wearing size 24×28 (fits like a 23″ waist) but also have jeans in 25×28 (24″ waist).
Tee: Madewell whisper cotton v-neck tee (size XXS) | Jeans: Topshop petite Jamie jeans (size 24×28) | Cardigan: Halogen cashmere cardigan (size XXSP, similar HERE) | Bag: Gucci soho gucci disco bag | Shoes: Steve Madden (similar HERE) | Belt: J.Crew cognac belt (similar HERE)
Way to go Annie!! Let’s build each woman up and not tear them down!! Life is hard enough!!
I think that I have followed you for at least a few years. The pictures have made your life look pretty perfect. I really appreciate your gradual openness and honesty showing that you don’t have the perfect life, just perfect pictures because you are fashion/style blogger. I am going to save this post for the Autumn when I get out of maternity clothes. While great, your outfits are usually not casual enough for my lifestyle (sahm in south Texas)
I think that I have followed you for at least a few years. The pictures have made your life look pretty perfect. I really appreciate your gradual openness and honesty showing that you don’t have the perfect life, just perfect pictures because you are fashion/style blogger. Cassie Ho (blogilates) also sometimes opens up about the ‘perfect look’ in her videos and blog. I am going to save this post for the Autumn when I get out of maternity clothes. While great, your outfits are usually not casual enough for my lifestyle (sahm in south Texas)
Everyone goes through life with some scars and venting is great because it’s allows you be you…shit happens at every stage of life.
Your courage and spirit is inspiring to all of us! I thought the opposite of that commenter – that being honest about your life has only endeared you to more and given your work an authenticity to be admired. We love seeing your sweet face and encouraging you. Keep it up! Love from Texas!
Thank you for sharing your feelings! We should all support each other!
You go girl! Hugs and kisses to you.
This post reminded me of a book called “My (no so) perfect life” by Sophie Kinsella…fun read! The point of the book is that what we post on social media could be a carefully staged minute of a life and not the reality of it. I have become somewhat adverse to fb, Instagram and social media in general. For a while, it made me feel as if my very normal life wasn’t on par with the cool life others led. I knew this to be false, irrational and all that is how I felt. So I disconnected for a while and even stopped reading fashions blogs because I was buying stuff just because. Just the other week, I caught myself posting a gorgeous picture of the view from a fixer upper we bought on the coast (VERY FIXER UPPER). The picture was unreal, so absolutely stunning, but it didn’t show how upset we are at all the problems we have found within the house. The undiscovered foundation and crawl space issues, or the arguments we have had over it. I deleted it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go around in a pity party mode. I know I am beyond blessed, but that is not my whole reality and I don’t want to show only the good and pretty. I do understand the pressure bloggers and influencers go through to make their lives appear like photoshoots. it is your guy’s job. Thank you for opening up about real life. I do hope these hard times for you to pass quickly and leave you stronger and happier. Keep up the good job. Ps. I have been reading your blog for over 4 years now, I have always thought and still think that you are inspirational!
Way to go, Annie! I read yesterday’s post and wanted to respond but was not able to do so (I was at work and had to get back to it). Like the others, I also appreciate that you are opening up and telling us a little about yourself. Of course, we don’t have to know everything. It’s your right and privilege to keep very personal things to yourself. I absolutely loved your advise/comments yesterday. It just goes to show that we’re all the same–HUMAN.
As I’ve commented before, your blog is a bright spot in my day. Keep up the wonderful work you’re doing! I will continue praying for you and Milan. Take care!
So I’ve reached out to you on IG – But this is really the first time reading your blog. I don’t read blogs from “industry influencers” for the very exact reasons you mentioned… I cannot stand the fake. I read this because you ARE being more vulnerable and showing the real, human you. Keep your head up.
We all have difficult times in our lives. You have to be the best you can be every moment until things change or get better. Questioning your self is not helpful. Listening to those who are not in your corner, not good. Be yourself, change what you can when you can, cling to the good things in your life, and remember this will pass in time. Cry, breath, smile, and laugh. Love your sytle and sending hugs.
Annie- I absolutely LOVE your blog even MORE now that you have been sharing more about your real life. That takes absolute courage to do and your attitude toward hateful people is spot on. You are a role model for other influencers (IMO) and it truly helps to bridge the divide between us women out here in the world trying to figure it all out. Keep on doing your thing – you have to know that this is your true path – it really shows! I especially love that you can be real and still produce an amazing product. It is very inspirational to me!
I love that you are being real with us about your feelings and about what you are going through! I am a 66 year old retired hospital social worker.. I am petite and just love clothes. I was not sure that I wanted to continue to read your blog at first. I loved your style but did not find you as genuine and relatable as I find you now..We are of different generations but it does not matter to me now! I just enjoy reading
about you and your beautiful little girl. I wish you all of the joy that life can hold . And keep those cool outfit coming! Thanks, Vicki
You are so beautiful for just being you! Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. God just wants something so much better for you and your daughter. You take care and know that many people love you!
Annie I’ve been following for awhile now and I can’t lie I definitely thought you had a perfect life so when you started to open up my heart broke for you. I have literally cried with you as you spoke on your instastory. I could relate to you so much at those moments that it had made me look at you as so much more of a real person and not just an influencer that I follow. Its so great to see someone you follow show their real life struggles. Because like you said every time I look at these influencers on my feed I get this bummed out feeling of wow I wish I was always on vacation and had the perfect home and looked beautiful everyday. I know it’s just not the way life really is. I respect you soo much staying true to yourself and not letting anyone tell you how your gonna do it!! Lots of Love ❤️ Megan
Your blog is refreshing. One can most certainly wear cute clothes and post beautiful pictures and simultaneously curse and go through hell and learn lessons and raise children and trip and fall and grow and LIVE exactly how she wants. You’re doing a great job of living and sharing and I applaud you for that. You give us all of what we want and need: an inside look of a woman who has a demanding full-time job, pressure to do it beautifully, being a working mom trying to raise a confident, strong successful little girl, all while going though life’s challenges, some of which can be crushing at times. Your blog and Insta are beautiful, but your beautiful honest heart is the best part. Keep living YOUR WAY. You’re doing an incredible job. 💖
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Do you know where I could find the cardigan in the picture? I’ve been looking for one just like it forever now and I’m not having any luck. I want to find one with the waterfall effect, I don’t want one that goes straight down like the one from Halogen.
Hi Tiffany! Mine is old from Nordstrom (also Halogen). I haven’t seen one that has the waterfall effect 🙁
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