This week has been tough for me. I’m feeling exhausted and emotionally drained…
It’s crazy to me that some people think they can leave for several months at a time and come back and decide to disrupt our lives. That is unacceptable. It’s so draining. We were doing great. Life was simple. Easy. Drama free. We were happy. Things were stable.
I find it interesting that narcissistic personalities have no emotions. They are selfish. They don’t think about how their actions affect others. It blows my freaking mind how they think they can play by their own rules. They don’t have to abide by contracts or agreements. They are above the law. They are above everyone else. Seriously UNBELIEVABLE.
Single mom life is NO JOKE. It’s hard AF. I consider myself to be pretty damn strong. I’m a badass business woman and mentally tough. I’ve been through hell and back and I’m still alive! I’ve been taking on too many things lately… possibly too much. Some days I feel like super woman and other days I’m barely surviving.
Is it wrong that I feel lazy if I’m not constantly working or doing something productive? I’ve always been like this. I can’t sit and do nothing. I have to always be doing SOMETHING or else I feel like I failed at the end of the day. There are not enough hours in the day. My body is telling me to slow down. I need to take a breather. It’s ok to feel worn out. It’s ok to sit and do nothing. I have to take my own advice and take care of myself. Go to be earlier instead of working so late. Baby steps. Mini goals. I got this.
Dress: Forever 21 v-neck sweater dress (size small) | Sweater: c/o ModCloth dream of the crop cardigan (size XXS) | Sandals: Sam Edelman Yaro ankle strap sandals | Necklace: c/o Vince Camuto mother of pearl link necklace | Bag: Louis Vuitton (similar HERE and HERE)
As a working writer, every time I’m not writing or editing or anything else part of the job, there’s always part of my brain that says You should be writing. But I still do other things. Because I can’t be creative if my brain is spent. Reading books or watching TV shows or movies actually fuel my work.
Sweet Annie:
You have all the ingredients to be a happy woman, mother and eventually wife or life partner. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
When I read your texts, I am brought back to 26 years ago when I thought I was so vulnerable, I knew I was and that I barely could put one feet on the floor in the morning without asking God to please help me get through the day. Same as you, sometimes I would feel strong and capable and at other times I would melt like ice cream in the sun and recites all the prayers and mantras I could just to survive this incredible emotional mess I was in.
You bring me to tears because “Been there, done that”. What helped me at the time is that I didn’t stop working. I just took some days off when I could or when my pain was too great to show to my coworkers who cared a lot, I now realize.
All this to tell you, even if he begs you to take him back, DON’T. From what I’ve understood from your past writings, you suffered enough. And your little daughter deserves the best as well as you.
You touch me so much. My heart goes out to you as if you were my daughter in pain or my little sister trying to make the best for her and her child.
I see myself in you. You are a stong, vulnerable at time, super beautiful woman. Nobody will kneel you down. You can do it. You go girl!
(In french, we have a motivation sentence ” T’es belle, T’es fine, t’es forte, t’es capable!”
meaning: You are beautiful, you are kind, you are strong, you are capable (or you can do it)).
Have a great day sweet Annie.
Hi Denise,
Thank you so much for everything you wrote. I seriously appreciate it. I love all your advice…means so much to me that you took the time to write this to me. It was a hard week but I’m looking forward to this weekend. Hoping to clear my mind and relax a little 🙂 Love you tons! XO
Have a great weekend and enjoy! You look and are fabulous. Bonne fin de semaine.
There are websites that have wonderful forums of support for spouses finally leaving narcissists.
It’s hard. Give yourself a break and leave the “shoulds” for another day.
Thank you! I def need a break…hopefully soon 🙂
My father-in-law is a narcissist. I completely understand your post. The only way to win with a narcissist is not to play his/her game! I hope you will be able to find ways to rest and refuel. For me, it takes more discipline to rest than to persevere!
When something like this happens it is hard to recover everyday is simply put one foot in front of the other find your comfort with your family and friends rely on them to help you. My daughter was married to a narcissit too – they had a two year old and when she became pregnant with their second child – he informed her that he never wanted to have another child and that he was just unhappy – she then discovered that he had been seeing someone else from the time her first child was born and he packed up and left her. He stole so much joy from her life. Like you she was strong she has refrained from saying bad things about him because she doesn’t want to lower herself to his level. He left her with no money and no means to take care of herself and two kids on her salary – with her parents help she enrolled in a 15 month nursing school course and will graduate in August. He tried to get back with her and seemed to always know when she was in a good place and that was when he would reappear and disrupt her life – They do not change find your way and be proud of the women you are and remember that you deserve happiness and you will find it.
Yes yes yes! 100%! They thrive off of playing the game and I refuse. I won’t do it. I couldn’t agree more…it takes WAY more discipline to rest. I have such a hard time with resting….
You got this Annie💕 It’s okay to take some breaks sometimes. It’s also okay to move at a slower pace. Milan needs you so take good care of yourself.
Thank you so much! I definitely need to work on slowing down. SO SO hard for me but my body is telling me I have no choice…I appreciate your support – means a lot! XO
I totally get that mindset, once I start working hard I can’t get myself to stop and there really aren’t enough hours in the day. Whatever is happening in your life this week, think of yourself and the people you care about and if you need to send those narcissistic people to hell, then don’t be afraid to do it.
On another note, that’s a really pretty dress, I’d love to try a sweater dress, they seem so comfortable and flattering.
It was an awful week but staying positive and strong for Milan. Thank you for the love Marta. Hope you have a great weekend! XO
You look great and you sound strong! Enjoy your family visit with Milan’s “Asian grandma!” (too cute for words, lol).
hehehe thank you Marie! Can’t wait to see my family again. It’s been too long! Milan gets to experience the crazy Asians now that she’s able to communicate. It should be interesting! She misses her Asian grandma LOL