Today was bitter sweet. I finally closed on my Newport home. I thought I would be jumping for joy but…
I have mixed feelings. The sale of my home was the last thing that I needed to get done to close that chapter of my life. I almost felt like I couldn’t move on until that was completed. I’m mainly writing this blog post for my future self. I honestly thought that I would be celebrating the closing but to be honest, it was sad and very difficult. As much as I try to be strong and tough, I’m human.
I feel like I’m in a great head space right now and I am very happy however closing this chapter of my life is surreal. I almost don’t know how to digest it. I can only describe it as bitter sweet. I know in my heart that everything happens for a reason but does that make the pain any less? Not really. If I’m being completely transparent, I’m hurting. I’m scared. I’m afraid I won’t be a good enough mom or be able to raise Milan on my own. It’s crazy all these feelings I have right now in this moment. It’s hard to convey into words what I’m going through.
While everyone is talking about the Nordstrom anniversary sale, I can barely think straight. I wasn’t prepared to feel what I’m feeling. I’m hoping by writing it out, it’ll help me heal. It’s been a long journey and I still have a long ways to go. I have to hang in there and stay strong for Milan. Thank you for supporting me along the way. Love you guys. XO