I know most of you follow me for fashion however I feel compelled to share my life experiences – both good and bad. The past 4-5 years have been by far the most difficult for me. This past year being my all time low. What I’ve been through is beyond words. Beyond comprehension. I have yet to share my full story. Maybe I will someday. Maybe I won’t. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to write a book.
Today I wanted to share 10 signs that you may be in a relationship with a narcissist. Trust me there are plenty more signs that are not included in this post but these are the ones I’m familiar with. In full disclosure, I am not a doctor, therapist or medical professional. Just because your spouse or significant other may have one more or of these signs, does not mean they are a narcissist. I think it’s good to educate yourself and evaluate your current relationship.
10 SIGNS YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST
1. THEY ARE CHARMING AF. Narcissists are very charming and charismatic. They may appear to be super nice and sweet at the beginning but don’t be fooled. They will drop you or move on without a second thought.
2. LACK OF EMPATHY. They have no emotions. They are not capable of feelings. They lack the ability to empathize or even sympathize. It’s always about them. They don’t care about your feelings because they aren’t capable of feeling or caring about anyone else but themselves.
3. GASLIGHTING. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation and emotional abuse. They blatantly lie and distort the truth. Signs of gaslighting include the following (source):
- You no longer feel like the person you used to be.
- You feel more anxious and less confident than you used to be.
- You often wonder if you’re being too sensitive.
- You feel like everything you do is wrong.
- You always think it’s your fault when things go wrong.
- You’re apologizing often.
- You have a sense that something’s wrong, but aren’t able to identify what it is.
- You often question whether your response to your partner is appropriate.
- You make excuses for your partner’s behavior.
4. THEY NEVER APOLOGIZE AND THEY THINK THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. There is no winning with a narcissist. Fighting or arguing with a narcissist is impossible. Since they think they’re never wrong, they will never apologize. EVER. In a healthy relationship, good partners can recognize when they’ve done something wrong and apologize for it.
5. THEY HAVE LITTLE TO NO FRIENDS. If your partner has little to no friends…this could be something to look into and be aware of. It’s so important and healthy to have friends and relationships with other people.
6. NEEDS CONSTANT PRAISE. Narcissists constantly need attention. They need praise, admiration and endless compliments. Think of it as food for their ego. They feed off of this and need it to survive.
7. ENTITLEMENT. Narcissist have a sense of entitlement. They consider themselves special and should get whatever they want and when they want it. They expect everyone around them to comply, obey and worship them.
8. EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT. No matter what happens, it’s your fault. They stop working for no reason? It’s your fault. They are stressed? It’s your fault? You had a baby and life is hard? It’s your fault. Mid-life crisis? It’s your fault. Every single thing that happens is your fault.
9. CONTROLS EVERYTHING. Narcissists tend to love control. It’s about power. When they have control, they have power. If your partner is telling you what to eat, what to touch or not touch, how to live, who to see or who you can’t see, how to dress or what color to dye your hair, or how large or small your boobs should be or how many times you should wash your hands, you need to run.
10. THEY BELITTLE AND DEMEAN YOU. They call you names. Verbal abuse. Call it whatever you want. This also goes hand in hand with control and gaslighting. It’s how they keep you down while feeding their ego. Control your emotions, control your mind. Control everything about you so you have NO IDEA how to survive without them.
Most of the time, people have no clue they are in a relationship with a narcissist. I honestly had no idea what gaslighting even meant until it was brought to my attention by a family member.
Narcissists can never and will never be fulfilled in any area of their lives. Nothing is ever enough. Nothing or no one is good enough. Just remember it’s not you. You are enough.
If you’re in an abusive relationship of any kind, my advice is to GTFO. I know, easier said than done. Find the strength. Dig deep and know your value. Seek therapy and surround yourself with family and friends.