Answering Common Questions + Overcoming a Narcissist

Just when you think you’ve escaped toxic and narcissistic people, somehow they find a way to sneak back into your life.

It’s almost as if they can’t control your happiness anymore so they will go to great lengths to try to destroy you yet once again.Β  Well guess what?Β  It doesn’t work anymore.Β  They can try and stoop as low as possible but I am a different person now.Β  I am no longer weak or broken.Β  I will not stand for anyone to control me in any way shape or form.Β  Whether it’s trying to control me emotionally, mentally, financially…whatever the case is, it’s not going to happen.

It’s quite sad.Β  I feel sorry for people who are so broken to the core that they feel the need to continue to break others.Β  Let it go and stop trying to hurt people.Β  It’s disgusting behavior.

I constantly get asked how I moved on and how did I get over what happened to me?Β  The answer isn’t quite that simple.Β  I’m still healing.Β  It will take a long time and I’m still going to therapy to help me deal with it.Β  Another popular question is how did I open up my heart?Β  There is no timeline as to how quickly to move on after a heartbreak or divorce.Β  Each person and each situation is different.Β  You can’t choose when you meet someone or fall in love.Β  It happens when you least expect it.Β  I had no intentions of dating or finding someone EVER.Β  I wanted to be single and being in another committed relationship after 20 years was not anywhere on my mind.Β  I’m a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason”.Β  It’s the most cliche saying but it’s so true.Β  You don’t meet people by accident.Β  I was meant to meet Mr. Right and he was meant to meet me.Β  Milan was meant to have him in her life.Β  Would I change anything?Β  Heck no.Β  He fulfills me in ways that I have never experienced before or even thought existed.Β  I’m so grateful for him.Β  I told myself IF I were to start dating, the only thing I care about is if the person is GOOD TO THE CORE and has a good heart.Β  Everything else is a bonus.Β  I got that and so much more.Β  My life isn’t perfect by any means.Β  My relationship isn’t perfect either.Β  It takes a lot of work, commitment and love.Β  I have a lot of work to do within myself and a lot of insecurities to get through.Β  It’s a struggle EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.Β  I will say this…I can finally share my story without tears.Β  That proves to me that I’m in a much better place.

Thank you again for allowing me to use this platform to not only heal but to give others hope.Β  Love you guys so much. XO

Dress: Nordstrom (old, similar HERE) | Coat: J.Crew lady day coat (size 00P, other colors HERE) | Shoes: Louboutin (cheaper HERE) | Bag: c/o Talbots (similar HERE)

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  1. So glad to see your healing and the strength it’s providing you. Your story is encouraging to those who think they’re trapped as well as those who are healing right along side you. Thanks for being so transparent. You’re looking so pretty!

  2. You are so right. Enjoy your life, your love and your daughter. Sometimes we have to learn lessons the hard way before we can truly become the best version of ourselves. Take care.

  3. I dont know the whole back story of your ex but I would love to read more about it. I’m going through something similar.

    • I haven’t really talked about it in detail to protect Milan. I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. Please stay strong and surround yourself with good people and a healthy support system. Sending love.

  4. Goof for you!!! Stay strong and use this experience to learn. Before I met my husband I dated a few Narcissists and almost ruined my life. I see others still hanging on to toxic relationships and it breaks my heart. It’s not easy to walk away, but for your mental health it’s best. Life is so crazy and it’s so important to understand that not everyone is wired the same. I’m so proud of you for recognizing this. Hang in there… over time you will heal. (((hugs)))

    • Thank you Christine! Mental health is so important and I also see so many people stuck in horrible marriages/relationships with narcissists. It’s awful to witness knowing what they are capable of. XO

  5. It’s what they do. Narcissists are empty vessels that feed on others. I don’t feel sorry for them at all as they know what they do to others.
    The best way is to not engage with them. Clearly his new supply is not holding up to expectations. Such soulless individuals.
    Keep strong and your lovely man will be there for you. Such happiness awaits x

  6. Very well said, Annie! I applaud you and you should give yourself a huge hug! You Love You! You’ve been through a lot and have overcome a great deal. The road to full healing takes a lot of time, but during that time, so much good can manifest. Therefore, enjoy each moment of your recovery and take heart in the journey that will help you grow, evolve and change into the person that you were meant to be…..Ignore the noise, the chatter, the negative….things that have no real matter and importance in your life now. Focus on what you do have at this time and the life you want for yourself. When you have that strength, nothing can ever keep you down for long. As they say…..”misery loves company”. Don’t ever let anyone have that control over you. Some can’t stand the fact that you are happy because they want to revel in your sadness and failure! Blessings to you and your little family!

  7. Even at your best, you’ll never be right for the wrong … at your worst, the right person will remind you of your worth.

  8. You are right, at the heart of many relationships it is very important to understand your qualities that people like or dislike. This can help you build better communication with people and partners.