Today I was going to talk about work outfits but instead I’m going to just write what’s on my mind.
I had a therapy session today and it weighed heavily on my heart. We talked about having empathy for those that have hurt us. I struggle with this part. Although I’m a person that has a lot of empathy for others, I can’t seem to find a way to have empathy for the people who are incapable of empathy. In order to fully heal and move on, you have to forgive right? But do you have to have empathy for them? I don’t know. It’s difficult and I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out.
We also discussed being thankful for what happened to me but also not forgetting or discounting the pain I went through and allowing myself time to work through the trauma. I am beyond grateful for what happened to me. I truly am. It’s crazy to even fathom being grateful for narcissism, infidelity and abuse but somehow it led me to where I am today and for that I am eternally grateful.
It still blows my mind that after everything is said and done, some people that will never change. They will never be happy. They will never be satisfied. They will forever be miserable in their own existence. They will continue to try to bring you down because they can’t stand that you are happy. I truly believe that when someone is rotten to the core, nothing and no one will ever change who they truly are inside. They can change masks and continue to fool the people around them but one day the mask will fall off (again). It’s just a matter of time. I feel sorry for these people and I will pray for them.
Blouse: c/o Ann Taylor tie neck blouse (size XXSP, another color HERE) | Skirt: Ann Taylor (old, similar HERE) | Shoes: c/o Ann Taylor (old, similar HERE) | Bag: Tory Burch (similar HERE)
On another note, this tie neck blouse is currently 40% off with code: FRIENDS40! So cute for work and would also look great with this pink pencil skirt. I’m also eying this cute shadow spot belted midi dress and this scalloped shell – so cute for work!
I was also a victim of a narcissist. I was able to forgive after I went thru this exercise: I imagined the narcissist as a child, hurting from abuse themselves. Perhaps they were neglected, treated poorly or worse. It helped me with letting go and forgiveness. Maybe discuss this during your next therapy session.
You can talk about fashion later. I am glad you are addressing your issues. It’s so healthy of you and wonderful.
Have a great day,
Christine
My daughter holds some of these same thoughts but she has picked herself up and put herself through nursing school while raising two toddlers. I hope that in the futre a “Mr. Right” will enter her life. I think I am going to suggest she go to therapy it might help her work past some of the resentment. She keeps thinking that he will become a nicer person but you a right the mask is always temporary while they are trying to get what they want and it indeed it will fall again.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I am sure there are many others who can learn from your post. Congratulations on your new found happiness.
I understand why its so difficult to empathise with a narcissist. Yes they have probably suffered terribly as a child or been indulged to the point of stupidity. They know what they do, they know they are different and damaged and that everything is about them. They know they do not love, feel or able to put others before them. They know they are pathetic, fragile, soulless people where using others is just normal for them. Control and fear is their world and in that world they are the most powerful and special people. The reality is very different as normal people do not behave in such horrible ways.
Frankly I feel that your healing is far more important than forgiving a person who purposely hurts you and tries to destroy your happiness.
I always believe that having that person in your thoughts means that they are still controlling. I stand by treating others as I would like to be treated but sometimes just letting them be in their own dysfunctional world may just be the best thing.
You are looking blooming 🙂
Forgiving is an action. You fake it til you make it. You say it until one day it’s real. I’m sure your therapist has mentioned that forgivenesd is for you as part of the healing process.
As for empathy, it probably starts as pity in this kind of situation. He’s broken. Either his brain isn’t wired correctly or he was raised wrong. But imagine never being happy or content or satisfied. Somewhere in there, it has to be exhausting. While I don’t believe in karma as part of a reincarnation system, I wholeheartedly believe in you reap what you sow. Maybe at the end of life, but something catches up to all that do evil eventually. I don’t want to be them when it does.
I love seeing the full spectrum of who you are Annie. You’ve shown us how to dress beautifully and look good in our own skin. You chose to take us on a much deeper journey, as you deal with yours. Helped us dealing with our self-esteem and spiritual issues that, raising my hand high, I needed someone to pull me in. I’m sorry for the pain you went thru as part of your journey, but thankful you didn’t quit on yourself and you chose to help others find a better way as well. That’s humanity in action. Thank you
God’s grace is for everyone, even the miserable people that hurt us. Change is always possible. As more distance separates you from that season in your life, you‘ll likely see that broken people try to break others. Forgiveness is for your benefit and your daughter. For her sake, I hope he does change. The more compassionate we become, the better we are as people, partners and parents. Press on and love yourself well.🙌🏼 All the best!