Meet Meadow Ivy. Sharing her birth story while it’s still fresh in my head.
It was Tuesday morning on June 30th and I started my day out like normal. I was washing dishes and felt my water broke. I went to the bathroom to check and it wasn’t that much so I figured maybe it was the mucus plug. I wasn’t entirely sure if it was my water breaking or the mucus plug but I knew that baby girl was coming soon. I told Mr. Right that I could go into labor any day now! The same thing kept happening throughout the day and I was starting to have contractions. I started tracking how far apart they were but continued with my day working, doing chores and nesting.
Finally around 4-5:00, the contractions were getting super strong and I could barely move. I was laying in bed and felt so weak. I was almost certain I was going to pass out. We called the hospital and they said to come in immediately. The contractions were so intense that I could barely get into the car. I even left the house in my slippers!
We arrived at the hospital and I was already 5 cm dilated. Everything happened so fast. My contractions went from 20 minutes to minutes apart in such a short time. Baby girl was ready to come out and nothing and no one was going to stop her.
She came out a little over an hour after I arrived at the hospital. I couldn’t believe how fast everything happened. It was surreal. She was perfect and our hearts were so full. We spent the next few hours face timing our families. Everything was going so well. I started to nurse and she latched almost right away. I was in pure bliss.
I had a Dr’s appointment scheduled for the next day and was supposed to do the group strep B test. I was unfamiliar with this test and don’t recall doing it when I was pregnant with Milan. It’s a test to look for GBS bacteria in pregnant women. Most pregnant women are tested as part of routine prenatal screening. If you test positive, then you are given antibiotics during labor so that it alleviates this bacteria from passing to your baby. Because I went into labor the day before my test, they had to test Meadow by drawing her blood. They sent someone in to do the test which I wasn’t thrilled about, he wasn’t able to find a big enough vein because she was so small. He called a NICU nurse to help out and as soon as the nurse came in, she said something wasn’t right with Meadow. Her color was blue. She was lethargic and wasn’t breathing. I was recovering in the bed while Mr. Right was across the room with Meadow and the nurses. I was completely numb and had no idea what was happening. So many thoughts raced through my mind. How is this real?
Even after I gave birth, the doctors and nurses commented about how healthy and well she looked. So how on earth could she all of a sudden turn blue and stop breathing? I was sick to my stomach and thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I didn’t even want to start thinking about all the possible outcomes.
They called in more nurses from the NICU to assess Meadow’s condition and said they need to take her into NICU to do more tests and to closely monitor her. I was DEVASTATED and did NOT want my baby to be taken out of my sight. I broke down when I got to hold her right before they took her into the NICU. I didn’t want to let her go. I can’t even begin to describe the heartache of having to let her out of my arms so quickly after giving birth. Luckily they allowed Mr. Right to stay with her the entire time in NICU while I recovered. I wanted to make sure one of us was always right by her side.
As I sat in the room, minutes felt like hours. Hours felt like years. I finally felt well enough to go to the NICU and when I walked in and saw her hooked up to all those tubes, I lost it. Tears ran down my face uncontrollably as I hugged Mr. Right. My heart was so broken. Words cannot begin to describe what I was feeling. To be honest, everything from that point on is a complete blur to me.
The few nights we spent in the NICU were excruciating. They performed tests after tests. Drawing her blood over and over again. It was so hard to sit and watch her go through all of this. The worst was knowing that she had to be on antibiotics to ward off any possible infection. A newborn on antibiotics is not a great situation and completely ruins the good bacteria in her gut.
All I wanted was a healthy baby with little to no medical interventions. Unfortunately things happen that are out of our control. They still don’t know why she turned blue and became lethargic. I had a natural vaginal birth however it was so quick and intense (about an hour) that the doctors think this had something to do with it. I’m not entirely convinced that this was the cause. It still makes no sense to me how she was completely healthy and fine for 3 hours after I gave birth and then everything went wrong. The doctors still don’t know why this happened.
Fortunately Meadow Ivy is a fighter and she pulled through. She continued to pass all her tests and we were so anxious to get her home. We are SO blessed that she is healthy and home now. It could have been so much worse. As much as it pains me that she had to go through all of this, we are so grateful that she’s alive and thriving.
We got discharged on Friday morning and it was the best feeling in the world. I’ve been nursing her every 2 hours and am determined to heal her gut with breast milk. She is such a good baby. She’s so calm, isn’t fussy and just an all around easy baby. How this is possible is beyond me. She sleeps and eats like a champ. We had her first dr’s appointment yesterday and she barely lost any weight which is a huge indicator of how well she’s doing. Everything checked out and we couldn’t be happier.
Despite having a baby during a pandemic and spending last week in NICU, I have a sense of calmness that I’ve never had EVER. I’m still recovering physically and emotionally but my heart is so full. Milan loves being a big sister and she’s adjusting really well.
Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers. Love you guys. XO