How I Sleep Trained My Baby In Under 30 Minutes

Twenty four minutes of discomfort positively changed my entire life.  Here’s how…

To give you an idea of the uphill battle that lied ahead of me, up until two weeks ago, my baby Milan had never once slept in her crib and we were using a baby swing for her naps.  Read that again.  Since Milan was born, she has never slept in her crib – EVER.  We have been co-sleeping with her since day one and it wasn’t until she was around three months old that we discovered this baby swing which saved us during her naps.

milan-pink-bow-hat

Bow hat // First Impressions Onsie

milan-gap-dress-and-pink-headbandHeadband // Dress: Gap (love this HERE)

After her surgery and subsequent infection, my instincts were revved up and all I wanted to do was nurture, protect and love her around the clock. There was just no way I could put her in a crib all alone by herself.  She was co-sleeping fairly decent for the first five months and waking every two to four hours to feed.  This was just fine with us since we were trying to get her weight up at the beginning and doing everything possible to make that happen.  She was always swaddled for bedtime but once we removed the swaddle and as her first teeth sprouted up (around six months old), her sleep patterns went sideways ultra fast.

milan-7-19-16-pink-gap-dress-1

Headband // Dress: Gap

I’ve been nursing on demand since Milan was born so essentially I’ve been nursing every hour.  I know that sounds insane but it’s true.  Every. Single. Hour.  I used to feed her in a few other rooms but made the mistake one time of feeding her in our bedroom, on the bed and letting her fall asleep while nursing.  That slip-up taught her to expect to feed through the night, every night, all night long.

To say I was sleep deprived would be a major understatement.  I wanted so badly to co-sleep with my baby that I was willing to sacrifice sleep and everything else just to have my little nugget next to me all night.  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love co-sleeping and the extra night time cuddles that come along with it however baby M wasn’t getting the sleep she needed and I certainly was suffering from severe exhaustion.  It really was more like co-awaking since none of us were truly sleeping.  Between working full time and taking care of Milan with absolutely no sleep, it had taken an immense toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. I finally hit rock bottom when I made dinner one night but forgot to turn off the oven as well as the gas stove.  Thankfully my husband noticed it because this could have been an irreversible mistake and I just cringe thinking of what could have happened.  Right then and there is when I made the decision to start sleep training Milan immediately whether I liked it or not.

milan-gap-gingham-romper-1

c/o Headband // Romper: Gap

Here’s the thing, I not only had to teach Milan how to sleep alone in her crib, but I also had to teach her to sleep without expecting or needing the breast to do so.  Up until this point, we had always used sleep props in order to help her fall asleep which consisted of nursing, swinging, rocking, shushing, singing, etc…  This means that we had taught her the only way to fall asleep was to rely on those props instead of allowing her to learn how to self soothe and fall asleep on her own.  It’s a very common mistake that many parents make without even knowing it.  We just assumed we needed to do these things in order for her to get sleepy and boy were we wrong!  Who knew feeding your baby could actually be a sleep prop that could get them to sleep but could prevent them from staying asleep?!  #mindblown

If your baby is nursing/feeding to sleep but waking up multiple times per night (or in my case exactly every 45 minutes), then you’ll know what I’m referring to.  Babies sleep cycles are very short and what happens is they expect to wake up in the same environment as they fell asleep in.  This means if you rocked, sang, shushed or nursed them to sleep and that isn’t still happening when they wake up, you’ll instantly have a crying baby on your hands and they probably won’t stop until you give them back what you took away while their little eyes were shut!  See how crazy the cycle is?  This is exactly why I needed to put an end to the pattern and find a solution to help Milan actually learn how to get through her sleep cycles independently.

milan-bunny-costume

Bunny outfit

I knew for sure that I didn’t feel comfortable with the cry it out sleep training method so after intense research, I decided that I would choose another method and stick to it fully. I had my reservations about every method but finally selected the one that I was most comfortable with.  I had to have a reality check with myself and acknowledge there isn’t any sleep training method that doesn’t involve some crying because no matter what, you are essentially teaching your baby a whole new skill set and you’re doing it while they are the crankiest which is during sleepy time(s).  Heck, even when you are not sleep training your baby will usually cry as they tend to resist and fight sleep until they learn that it can be a wonderful experience for them.  Of course there will be resistance while learning as it’s only natural.  I was ready and willing to commit the next month to sleep training no matter what it took.  I changed my mindset from thinking that Milan needed my help in order to sleep and instead started affirming that she can do it by herself and that sleep was a tremendous gift and I wanted to share it with my daughter.

milan-4th-of-july-outfit

c/o Little Me

On a side not, I’ve had been procrastinating sleep training Milan due to her dermatitis (possible eczema) because I didn’t want her scratching her skin all night.  Even when we were co-sleeping, she would wake up every hour to nurse and would scratch. Joshua and I tried swaddling her but at this age, she was just too strong and would bust out of every swaddle.  We tried the Magic Sleep Suit which basically is a onsie lined with thick padding that muffles babies startle reactions and limits their movements.  Not only was it super sad to watch her sleeping in that suit, it made her very sweaty and still didn’t prevent her from waking up every hour.  Luckily, after extensive research and testing, I found a sleep sack that solved the nighttime scratching issue.  So now that we checked this off the list, I had no other excuses.  I needed to do this and the time was right now.  I was pretty much taking away every sleep crutch that Milan had ever known and would now be teaching her how to sleep on her own, without relying on anything or anyone. This would be a MAJOR lifestyle change for all of us.

milan-red-and-chambray-dress

Dress: Gap // Headband c/o

Here’s the process I recommend following if you are in the same boat and are ready to help your little one benefit from sleep.

STEP 1: ANALYZE / DO YOUR HOMEWORK

I spent the first two days tracking and writing down Milan’s exact schedule. I wrote down when she took her naps, when she feed and even jotted down when she got tired etc.  For those two days, I studied when she showed signs of being tired (rubbing eyes, tugging at ears, etc.).  This is an EXTREMELY important step because there is only a small window before babies become overtired and then you are screwed.  When they cross that point, the result is hyper behavior, major fussiness, crying, laughter and pretty much everything else except for sleepiness.  Even if you are not yet ready for sleep training, if you can catch the initial signs of tiredness and put your baby down right then, you will have an exponentially greater chance of them falling asleep then if you wait.  (FYI, a baby might not yawn when tired so I rely more on the other signs previously mentioned.)

Next, I wrote down what her night time schedule (bedtime routine) currently was and then created what I wanted it to look like.  I also wrote down my bedtime commitments, nap time commitments, and night waking commitments (more on these later). Here’s an example of Milan’s nighttime schedule: ( this should not take longer than 45 minutes)

milan-seersucker-bonnet-outfit

Seersucker romper and bonnet c/o // Crib sheets and bumper: Oilo c/o

Bedtime Schedule

1. Change diaper / moisturize skin: 7pm

2. Put on pajamas: 7:10pm

3. Read bedtime story (same book every night): 7:15pm

4. Nurse/feed: 7:25pm

5. Put in crib: 7:45pm

Building up to the first night attempt, I was nervous, anxious and scared.  I didn’t know how it would go down or what to expect. I was panicked!  Once you start this training, you cannot stop or alter from the plan otherwise it will all be for nothing and you’ll set your baby back even further from where they started.   Okay, so it’s the first night and I followed my bedtime schedule exactly.  I chose an 8pm bedtime because that seemed to make sense for us (at that point in time) however it’s not (continue reading to see why it didn’t work out).

milan-flamingo-outfit

Flamingo outfit: Mud Pie // c/o Headband

Before we get into exactly what happened the first night – here are examples of my commitments:

Naptime Commitment

I will put Milan down for a nap in her crib after one and a half to two hours of awake time.  I will read a story and put her in her crib awake (key point here). I will repeat the phrase “sleepy time” and gently stroke her forehead to soothe her.  I will sit with Milan until she falls asleep for the first three days and then will remove myself from her room so she doesn’t associate going to sleep with my presence.

milan-pom-pom-dress

Dress: Gap // Headband c/o

Bedtime Committment

After our bedtime routine, I will put Milan in her crib awake.  I will stay with her until she falls asleep for the first three nights, then I will move my chair further away from her crib every three nights. I will repeat the phrase
“sleepy time” to soothe her.  I will carefully touch her through the crib bars but I will not pick her up. I will wait in her room for however long it takes her to fall asleep.

milan-pink-romper-and-pom-pom-headband

Pompom headband // c/o Pink romper // Striped pants // White turtleneck // c/o Dockatot

Nightwaking Commitment

When Milan wakes up at night, I will wait five minutes before I respond to her (also very important).  I will go into Milan’s room and wait until she falls asleep.  I will repeat the phrase “sleepy time” and will gently stroke her forehead until she has calmed down and can fall asleep.  I will not feed her until 7am as she is of healthy weight and is old enough to sleep through the night on her own (please check with your Pediatrician). I will not bring Milan to bed with me no matter what.

*Waiting 5 minutes before you respond to your baby when they wake up is SO SO IMPORTANT because most of the time, they are just waking up from their sleep cycles and should be able to soothe themselves back to sleep.

milan-heart-outfit-and-turban

Heart Top and Leggings c/o // Turban c/o

NIGHT #1 – NAP #1

Now let’s talk about what happened on night one.  OMG – we are doing this COLD TURKEY!  As I mentioned before, I followed the bedtime routine exactly.  I laid Milan in her crib at exactly 7:45pm.  She cried for what seemed like an eternity but I was right next to her soothing her following my commitments.  I didn’t abandon her, I knew she wasn’t in pain, I knew she had a full tummy and a fresh diaper.  It was the most excruciating 24 minutes of my life and I was tempted to cave in about 10,000 times.  I repeated to myself to stay strong and reminded myself that I am giving her the precious gift of sleep. She finally fell asleep after a total of 24 minutes.  First time asleep in her crib, without any sleep props!  This is monumental!  Before I could finish processing all of this, she woke up one and a half hours later, so I waited five minutes before going in her room, soothed her and she fell asleep after only three minutes.  She woke up pretty much every hour on the hour crying like she normally did when we co-slept and I stuck to the game plan and repeated the same steps.  At around  1am, it took me the longest time to soothe her (nearly one hour).  She didn’t cry for an hour straight (nor would I have let her) however it took me about an hour to calm her down to a relaxed state and encourage her to fall back asleep.  This was very difficult and I almost broke.  She was probably so confused as to why Mommy wasn’t nursing her and why she wasn’t lying next to me.  This was all new to her.  My heart was aching but I had to keep it together and stay strong.  It was a very long and rough night for us all but we made it through and started our day at 7:30am the next morning.  Words cannot describe how amazing it felt to finally be able to hold her, kiss her and feed her!  This was the longest we had ever been apart and I was overjoyed to finally be together again!

milan-angel-bed-2

Angel baby wrap // Rug c/o // Headband c/o

The next day was her first nap time training day.  I think I was more nervous about this than anything else because the only time I have to get anything done is in between her naps.  Previously, she was a good napper but that’s only because we had a sleep prop – her swing.  Now I would be removing that and training her to sleep in her crib because it’s important that she naps in the same place as where she sleeps at night.  This way, she will know when she goes in her crib, it’s sleepy time.

milan-pink-hat

Pink hat

Okay so the first day of her nap training, she did amazing! She took three naps all in her crib without ANY tears or resistance!  I was SHOCKED and cautiously optimistic. Maybe I got lucky?  Keep in mind, she had NEVER ever napped or slept in her crib so the fact that she was able to without crying was simply UNBELIEVABLE!!  Seriously, I didn’t believe it.  I followed her nap time routine exactly for every nap – diaper change, read a book, nurse, put down in crib AWAKE.

milan-3-months-old

milan-4-months-old

I think the most important lesson I’ve learned so far is you have to put the baby down in their crib while they are still awake.  I used to always wonder why Milan would sleep just fine in my arms and then would wake up crying if I tried to put her down anywhere.  Again, it goes back to the same environment going to sleep and waking up.  I can’t stress this enough – make sure to put the baby down AWAKE.  Do NOT let your baby fall asleep while nursing – this is another mistake I’ve made in the past.  Now if I see her starting to doze off, I’ll sit her up and try to burp her or tickle her feet to keep her awake.

milan-5-months

Dress: c/o Little Me // Moccasins: c/o Freshly Picked // Headband c/o

milan-6-months-old

c/o Pink romper // c/o Knit booties // c/o Headband // c/o Age Blocks

NIGHT #2

The second night, I decided start Milan’s bedtime routine one hour earlier based upon further reading.  So instead of putting her down at 7:45pm, I would put her down in her crib at 7pm which means I have to start the bedtime routine at 6:15pm.  I realized that she was most likely overly tired on night number one which probably made the sleep training much more difficult.  From what I’ve read, babies naturally want to go to bed by 6:30pm -7pm.  It was hard for me to digest this because it seemed way too early.  Reluctantly, I did everything exactly like I did on night one except moved it down one hour earlier.  This time, Milan fell asleep almost instantly with no tears and no resistance! O.M.G.!!  She slept 12 hours and woke up at 7 am.  I can’t even believe I’m saying this! AMAZING!!  Keep in mind, after nursing every hour and neither of us sleeping, I would have been happy with a few hours of sleep.  To know that Milan is learning to sleep for this long was pure and overwhelming joy!  The third night, I once again stuck to the earlier bedtime routine and she slept for eleven hours and woke up at 6 am!  I was floored.  Forth night, she slept 10.5 hours. Fifth night – 11 hours. Sixth night – 11.5 hours.  Now I’m convinced, this is not luck, this is the gift of sleep that my precious angel learned and accepted very quickly!  I’m ECSTATIC for her!!!

I’m now on night thirteenth and have moved her bedtime to 6:30pm. I start her bedtime routine at 5:45 pm. I have also adjusted her nap schedule to 9am and 1-2:00pm.  Based on her current age (9 months), two naps is recommended and the last nap should not be later than 3-3:30 if her bedtime is 6:30-7:00pm.

milan-7-months-5

c/o Age Blocks // Headband // Ballerina Bunny // Dress: Mud Pie

milan-8-months-old-3

c/o Age Blocks // Headband // Dress: Gap

According to more research, there is something called Night Five Regression.  It’s the baby’s last attempt at pushing back and resisting to see if you will cave and give in.  Luckily I didn’t experience this however I did notice she tossed and turned more than usual on night number five but I didn’t have to go in and soothe her at all.  Whew!

milan-9-months-old

Outfit: c/o Wheat Kids // c/o Age Blocks

Important Note:  The first three nights I sat in a chair right by the crib. On days four, five and six, my chair was in the middle of the room and allowed myself to get up and soothe Milan. Days seven, eight and nine, my chair was at the door and I would not get up to soothe her.  I always stayed in the room until I knew she was asleep.  This is one of the main differences between this method and the controversial “cry it out” method.  Starting on day 10, the chair was gone and I would lay her down and leave the room.

milan-white-gap-dress

Dress and Shoes: Gap // Bunny Blanket c/o // Headband

FINAL THOUGHTS

Learn to recognize your babies sleep cues and take notice when they become tired.  Do not let them get overtired.  Seriously, drop everything at the first signs and get them into bed!  Set a schedule that works for you and stick to it no matter what.  Remove any other options so that you have no choice but to do it.  I learned a long time ago in business that ideas without action are worthless.  Implementation and follow through mean the difference between wishing something would happen and actually succeeding with it.   Treat nap time just as importantly as bed time.  Adjust your baby’s bedtime if needed.  Some baby’s go to bed as early as 5:30pm so find what works best for yours.

I’m not an expert by any means, I just wanted to share what I’ve been through and what is working for us.  Milan was a really happy baby to begin with but now after being able to finally sleep through the night on her own, she has more energy and seems much happier.  I now have extra time at night to accomplish other things, which still feels very strange to me.  Milan went from waking up every hour and nursing around the clock to sleeping through the night,napping in her crib and not waking up to nurse.  She no longer uses any sleep props (no rocking, nursing, shushing or singing) to fall asleep.  I never ever thought this was possible and it truly is a miracle.  I’ve given Milan the gift of sleep and I am so proud of her!  As the title of this post says, it really boiled down to a half hour of intense work to start the ball rolling in the right direction.  A half hour.  By human nature, we are programmed to avoid pain and seek the path of least resistance.   How silly of me to avoid minutes of discomfort in order to gain hours, years and a lifetime of benefits.

milan-anchor-romper

Anchor Zippy OneZ c/o // Flower headband c/o

Being a Mommy definitely is the most difficult job in the world.  It also can be the most rewarding.  You hear it time and time again but those who are mothers understand the truth behind these words.  For those of you who love co-sleeping and it’s working our for you, good for you and keep doing it.  For those of you who, like myself, it isn’t working and are ready to make the change, do it now.  You owe it to yourself and your loved ones.  Stay calm.  Breathe.  Affirm. Stay strong.  You got this.  Twenty four minutes outside of my comfort zone changed the course of my family’s life and I would do it all over again if I had to in a heartbeat.

Questions?  Comments?  Let me know below!

  • This informational post is not medical advice. This post is for informational purposes only and is intended solely to share my personal experience. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health practitioner before following the advice and using the techniques described in this post.
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  1. Wow. Yes yes yes. I’ve got a swing sleeper, a swaddled swing sleeper no less. Zipadee arrives tomorrow actually and I had planned on starting the transition for at least naps sometime in the near future. However, our little guy has to have surgery at 6 months (he’s 3 months now) so I’m not sure how much sense it makes to go through this now vs after. Along with the surgery comes a lot of restrictions and discomfort so I expect it to turn things upside down for at least a couple of weeks. Any advice or thoughts after your experience?

    • Hi Chelsea,
      Yup Milan would only nap in her swing and before that, I literally had to rock/sing/shush her to sleep and sometimes just had to hold her for her naps. The swing saved us for a few months but the night time nursing every 45 min was literally killing me. I’m so so sorry that your little guy has to have surgery at 6 months! What for if you don’t mind me asking? Personally, I think your baby is still too young and probably needs to feed/nurse at night and with the upcoming surgery, there definitely will be discomfort. He will need as much love and affection (and breast milk if you are nursing) as possible. I’m no expert but I would wait until after his surgery and recovery. If I had to do it all over again, I would have probably started at around 6 months. You want to make sure your baby is of healthy weight and is able to sleep through the night without having to feed – I would always advise checking with your Pediatrician just to be safe. Hope this helps! Please keep me posted on his surgery. XO

      • Thank you! He has a cleft lip, so it’s a pretty extensive surgery and recovery. 6 hours long and no feeding from the breast for a week. I’m dreading it! I just want to make sure I’m setting him up for the best restorative sleep possible post surgery. He’s already 15 pounds so I’m afraid he won’t fit in the swing by then lol. We get 3-4 hour stretches as night but since he’s right next to the bed in the swing I’m up the second he fusses. Naps he wakes up after 1 sleep cycle (26 minutes!) and sometimes I can shh him back to sleep. I’m not ready to let him cry for 5 minutes yet, but I also don’t want not be teaching him to soothe. So tough!

        • I don’t blame you for dreading it. Any type of surgery on your baby is so difficult and I feel you mama! No breast feeding for a week after? That is a bummer but makes sense. I still think you shouldn’t wait until after he heals and recovers to start sleep training 😉

  2. I’m so happy that you posted this and of course Im sure are ecstatic that your whole family is getting more rest! I struggled for a long time with the very long nights of continuous nursing. I’m sorry the magic sleep suit didn’t work for you (as I think I recommended that one) but it looks as though you found what does!

    • Hi Tara,

      No worries…it was a great suggestion and I was really hopeful and it probably would have worked under diff circumstances. She got addicted to the breast. lol

  3. Any suggestion to wean breastfeeding baby? I have to do surgery and my surgeon told me to dry up the milk. My 9 months old doesnt take bottle at all. Gave her pumped breastmilk, and couple different formulas but she kept refusing and cried. I’m so sad and stressful at the same time.
    Good to hear you got your sleep back Annie. I’ll try move her crib to another room so she can learn sleeping thru the night and learn the way you did it

    • Hi Monica, I’m sorry to hear you have to have surgery. 🙁 As far as weening off of breastmilk, I’m not sure as I’m still nursing and plan to for as long as I can. Milan has never had the bottle or formula – only breast milk straight from the boob. Lol I definitely think putting the crib in a diff room will help since baby can’t smell your milk. If I run across any tips, I’ll let you know. I’m sorry I’m of no help 🙁

  4. Thanks for writing this post! Baby Milan did so well! Especially since she had the swing and breast sleep association. We’re going to start tomorrow night using the Ferber method. We got rid of the rocking, humming, patting and breast before sleep 2 weeks prior in preparation for this.

    My LO also has eczema. I may try the sleep suit that you mentioned. I also tried the magic Merlin and love to dream swaddle and it did not help at all.

    We tried at 3.5 months cold turkey and she cried for an hour. It was heartbreaking. We’re trying again now at 4.5 months. I feel like we’re a lot more prepared this time. Wish me luck!

  5. Hi Annie. I to have a 9 month old that co sleeps with me and as much as I would like to have her sleep on her own I’m scared of the idea of hearing her cry but my biggest fear is that I have a 7 year old and in laws whom live with me as well and hate hearing my little girl cry.well who doesn’t like it right. Well I didn’t do as much research which was my first mistake therefore the one time I intended to let her cry it out you could imagine, the whole house went bananas and we caved in after 10 minutes of crying. I loved everything you said and I’m going to do just that. Research and plan ahead. Thank you I do have a question, I go to church on Tuesday nights and usually my family goes on little outings on weekends, Have you came up with a plan for when nap or sleep schedule changes for these type of occurrences? I would love to hear what you are doing to not break Milan’s habit of good sleep when on the go. Thank you again for your post wonderful and real advice

    • Hi Gisell! Trust me, I was in the same boat. I couldn’t bare to hear Milan cry for even ONE second. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom and got to the point where I wasn’t functioning and I knew she wasn’t getting the proper sleep. Sleep is SO important for our little ones as it helps them develop. When they get interrupted sleep (waking up frequently) – they are not getting that deep sleep that they need. A few minutes of crying for a lifetime of healthy sleeping habits is worth it. You are giving your baby a gift. Remind yourself of that and don’t focus on the crying. I am the WEAKEST when it comes to Milan crying and have no self control and cave in all the time but this HAD to happen for her and I to survive. During this training and for the next couple of months, I plan everything around her naps and bed time schedule. I want to make sure she is completely trained before doing anything that may have her regress. My advice is to stick to your schedule as much as you can – at least for the first 2 months of teaching your baby new sleeping habits. Hope this helps and keep me posted! 🙂 XO

  6. This is almost our exact same story! My daughter Tori (6 months) was sleep trained at 5 months, and we haven’t looked back! I thought the same thing for her naps–she fell asleep by herself, no binky, within a minute…did I get lucky? The same thing for all the naps, but that night she woke up during the night and was awake for 1.5 hours…CUE THE MOMMY GUILT and sadness! But I’m so glad I stuck it out! In the end she was trained within a day and a night! She sleeps through the night at least 10 hours and I get sleep! So impressed that you wanted to share this because I know there are a lot of people out there who hate sleep “training” your baby (if your baby is crying, she needs you; don’t sleep train, your baby is not a dog; etc) but it is a wonderful gift you can give to your baby to teach her to fall asleep herself. And a gift for you, too! Great job!!

    • Hi! That’s awesome about your baby! Way to go mama! It’s not easy joy definitely necessary. I never realized how important it is to teach your baby to sleep without any sleep associations. It’s wild isn’t it? I’m so so glad that I did and so proud of Milan! I’m really happy you were successful too! 🙂 Best feeling ever!

  7. Yey! finally, I’ve been waiting for this post! congratulation! i know sleep training is not easy! i haven’t tried sleep training yet for my 8 month old son. we have his crib in our room. How is that going to work? Great job on exclusive breastfeeding! I have to result to mix with breast milk and formula after 5 months since i went back to work and i have a low supply. do you pump? any tips for keeping your supply up? I am still planning to continue to breastfeed my son as long as i can. 🙂

    • Hi Sheila!

      Congrats on your baby boy! I think for sleep training to be fully effective, the crib has to be in a diff room otherwise the baby may smell mamas milk. I plan on breast feeding for as long as I can! To keep my supply up, I drink A LOT of water, eat organic oatmeal every morning and pump at night. I also drink mothers milk tea. Hope this helps! XO

  8. When you put her down the first night (when she cried for 24 minutes) was she screaming or just whining/crying? I want to try this with my daughter it just breaks my heart when she gets to the point where she’s hysterical and screaming.

    • She was crying by not hysterical. I know exactly what you mean – it’s heartbreaking watching as seeing them cry but it’s a necessary evil to sleep train them. A few nights (only one for me – thank goodness) of crying for a lifetime of healthy sleep habits is worth it. 🙂

  9. Loved your post on baby sleep! I have a 6 month old baby who is currently crying from her crib while I have a moment of sanity. What method/book did you use to help you sleep train? If you would be able to point me in the right direction, that would be great! By the way – your Milan is a such a beautiful baby! 🙂

  10. Hi Annie-
    Your baby is sooooo beautiful. Congrats on her 1st bday. I followed you for a long time. I too had a miscarriage and finally got a baby girl. Surprisingly she also had issues like Milan in the beginning and now suffering from the cruel disease called eczema :(. My daughter has it really bad and unfortunately it is on her face. Breaks my heart to see her like this. Milan’s skin is glowing so do you mind sharing what you are doing to control her eczema? Also i saw a great post you did on her sleep training. What age was she when you finally trained her? Thank you so much 🙂

    • Hi Anna! OMG we have so much in common! HUGE congrats on your baby girl! YAY! Girls are the best! lol So happy for you! I’m so sorry to hear that your baby has eczema – Milan still has it too 🙁 She’s had it since she was 6 months old. It started out on her tummy and chest and somehow we were able to clear it up or it went away on its own. Then it started on her legs and arms and we are still battling it. We wanted to go the all natural route and have tried every natural cream and remedy out there. What we found works best for Milan is ACV (apple cider vinegar) baths and Waxelene (natural alternative to Vaseline). We have done elimination diets since I’m still breast feeding and haven’t been able to figure out what foods cause her to flare up. We try to stay away from wheat, gluten, dairy and night shade vegetables (tomatoes etc). Her skin is starting to look much better however she itches non-stop and claw her skin to the point where theres scabs. It’s awful. Based on my extensive research, eczema cannot be cured topically – it can only be healed within the gut. We can put all the creams and lotions on but it’s only a temporary fix. It’s a horrible condition!! Let me know if this helps…

      • Hi Annie- thank you so much for your reply. I commented not even thinking i would get a response. Your blog is so busy its almost like you are a celebrity and to get a personalized response from you was really amazing. Thank you for sharing Milan Eczema regimen. I will try your suggestion. For me, the only thing that controls my baby eczema is a natural cream called Elizabeth Parker baby eczema cream. I wanted to go all natural too because my baby develop tolerance to steroid about a month ago and her eczema came back with a vengeance.
        Anyway, i wanted to ask about sleep training. What age did u sleep train Milan? And how did you get her to sleep without pacifier? Thanks Annie you are amazing 🙂

        • Hi Anna! OMG it’s my pleasure! LOL about the celebrity part – I’m just a normal girl who blogs. hehehe That is terrible about how the eczema came back after using steroids. I’m glad that you stopped using it and decided to go the all natural route. I tried that cream you mentioned (along with every natural cream there is) and that didn’t seem to work for me:( We are also trying tallow (natural cow fat) which is supposed to help – I’ll report back if it does.

          Now on to sleep training…I started when she was 9 months old but I should have started way before then. I should have trained her when she was a few months old but due to her surgery, infection and low birth weight, I just couldn’t.

          We opted to not use a pacifier ever as I don’t believe in them. Not to say that they are terrible or anything but it’s just not the path I wanted to take. I’m pretty much her pacifier. LOL

          I pray your baby’s skin gets better and you are able to sleep train her without any issues 🙂

  11. How old was you little one when you tried this? I really want to try this with my baby boy. He’s six weeks today

  12. Hi Annie..even though this post is old, I’ve kept it in the back of my mind since you posted it (I was pregnant at the time; my son is now 6 months). I’ve tried sleep training him at 4 months, again at 6 months, and it hasn’t worked. My method is very similar to yours. I was wondering…did you have a limit in terms of crying intensity and duration before you would discern that it wasn’t working for Milan or that she wasn’t ready? My son was able to cry no less than 40 minutes before falling asleep (100 mins the first night), but we stopped when he couldn’t soothe himself back to sleep after repeated awakenings and marathon hysterical crying. He is also EBF and sleeps literally on me, his pacifier. I will try again every 2 months to see if he gets better at it. Not looking for him to sleep through the night, just to be able to sleep with I put him down on his own. Pediatrician is of little help (has no recommendations other than to wait until he is at least 8 months old, but I couldn’t not try sooner). Thanks, Julie.

    • Hi Julia!

      I didn’t sleep train Milan until she was 9 months. Personally I think 6 months may be too young but that’s just my opinion:)

      I got very lucky and it only took milan 20 min the first night I trained her to go to sleep and since then she has been sleeping through the night and napping in her crib. Before then, she would just nurse all night. She never napped in her crib before I trained her – always slept in my arms or in a swing. I thought it was going to be impossible for her to sleep in her crib at all for both naps and at night.

      We’ve had a few night wakings due to her teething where I had to go in and soothe her but but other than that, she sleeps through the night from 6:30/7pm – 6am. Now anytime she wakes up, she soothes herself back to sleep after a few minutes.

      Did you follow the method I used exactly? I found from other Mommy’s that if you do it exactly, it will work. You have to prep beforehand and also stick with it. Once you do it, you have to go all in otherwise they will regress.

      Milan has never used or needed a pacifier and I’m still nursing her. Now when I put her down for naps and bedtime, she goes straight to sleep. Let me know if this helps:)

  13. Hi Annie,
    Thank you for sharing this great post with us. My baby is turning 7 months next week and I feel it’s time). I have couple of questions: how old was your daughter when you sleep trained her?
    And also, I am constantly running into the same issue when she wakes up 30-40 miinutes iafter I put her down and starts crying
    If I don’t pick her up that may be the end of her nap, however, I know she is still tired. I pick her up and she is asleep in 4-5 minutes. I feel like I want to hold her to let her rest, since laying her down and picking her up every 5 minutes won’t be beneficial:
    What are your thoughts?
    Thank you

    • Hi Irina!

      Milan was 9 months when I sleep trained her. Naps are treated just like nighttime – you need to train her to soothe herself back. Luckily for Milan, she had no issues with naptime when I began sleep training her and she would NOT sleep anywhere but her swing or on me so there is HOPE! lol I would recommend following the steps I explained and apply it to naps as well. It will be hard as heck but you have to remind yourself that it’s a gift you are giving her -the gift of sleep! If you continue to pick her up after 30-40 min and she falls back asleep in your arms, of course she will continue to do this because she knows you will always pick her up when she wakes up crying. That’s all part of sleep training – it’s to help them not use us a crutch and fall back asleep on their own. I would sometimes wait 10-15 minutes at night but never had to soothe for her naps. So 5 minutes isn’t always the exact number, listen to your gut. Most of the time 5 minutes wasn’t enough…hope this helps?

  14. I love following you on Instagram, and just learned about your blog with other topics. My baby is 10 months and still will not nap in anything but the swing or car seat (he will go to sleep at night in his crib). I have tried your method, but it didn’t work for us. I’m uncomfortable with the cry it out method because he doesn’t lay in his crib and cry- he stands up and chews on the side of the crib and screams. He has chewed off the surface of a section of his crib railing and I worry about him ingesting wherever is in the product. Can you share any of the books/website you found helpful in your research? I’m at a loss here and would appreciate any resources you found helpful on the topic.

    • Hi! I had the same issue with Milan! She never slept in her crib EVER even for naps or nighttime until I sleep trained her. I thought it was completely hopeless. I didn’t use the cry out method – I don’t believe it that. The method I used was from Sleep Sense and you have to follow it to the T otherwise it will not work. That’s so sad about how your LO chews the surface of the crib. Milan wore a sleep sack so she really didn’t stand up in her crib. Did you try the method I used exactly or did you go off course? I know it’s so hard mama…hang in there….I know your situ is diff because he’s chewing the crib. OMG I’ve never heard of that before!

  15. You and Milan are so brave! That’s amazing how smoothly it went. I used the different method I’ve found online – it’s called Hold With Love. The basics seems the same but you put up your baby when it’s crying. I found this one since I couldn’t imagine even those 20-something minutes of watching my son to cry and not know what is happening. ANd of course you are still in the room – like you did. I might have taken few night more but I think it was worth it!

  16. Hi! I am also researching gentler sleep training methods for my almost 10 month old and originally was interested in the pick up put down method but I am really not sure if that is just going to get him even more worked up every time I put him back down… Our problem is that as soon as he wakes up, he sits up and then stands. Did Milan do this also? Was she able to teach herself to lay back down from standing? We also just bought the dockatot to see if that works. He seems to just be so uncomfortable on just the hard mattress and also doesn’t like sleep sacks…

    • Hi Amber! I looked into the pick up put down method but knew that wasn’t going to work for Milan because she definitely gets more worked up. Fortunately she loves her sleep sack so she really never stood up at night. She hated the dockatot but we still used it for playtime when she was a baby. This method I used worked wonders for us and it’s not as bad as you think. As long as you stay strong and look at it as giving your baby the gift of sleep, it changes your mindset about everything!

  17. I found this blog through your anniversary blog. I tried sleep training my little one at 6 weeks because like you i was only getting a couple hours of sleep at night. My little man would wake up to eat every other hour or so and in addition to that I have to wake up to pump since I’m not nursing him. We haven’t been very successful and I’ve been told he will sleep better as he gets older. He’s 9 weeks now but his sleep pattern has not improved. We do plan to sleep train again in a couple more months and maybe incorporate your methods in there too.

    • Hi Ka,

      Thanks so much for sharing. It’s just my personal opinion but he may be still too young to sleep train. I would wait at least 6 months old and this is just solely based on my research in regards to sleep training. I know you are exhausted and not sleeping – it’s not easy and I feel your pain mama. Hang in there. 🙂 XO

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    If your plan have been completely done, within the armed forces would have be a little more master, purchased newer accessories with traveled it is really angles with the east increasingly being a prevention in opposition to a ruskies attack rather than trying western world to threaten NATO.

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  57. CodingBlonde ough

    CodingBlonde 19 points supplied 1 day ago

    What gets me is what does he think is possible, I had my mentor at work profess his love for me the night before thanksgiving holiday. It was pretty fucked because he knew my husband then (furthermore, i knew his wife) And we had previously discussed that it was BS that people commented that something could happen between the two of us (In hindsight he was maybe testing the waters). I still can’t wrap my mind around what he thought happens. in my opinion, Anyone who knows me knows that I would not cheat. I’m very vocal about following on from the golden rule, So I could not. the second thing is, It was the night before thanksgiving, I had been system how I needed to go to the store to get cornmeal and get home because hey husband’s brother was in town. Was he hoping I’d reply saying, “Let’s get hotels right now, Were we making use of plan some secret tryst? What the actual fuck did he think would happen,

    TL;DR I don’t know what men are thinking when they do this sort of stuff. A friend who worked for corporate proper emphasized me to but I viewed it as a bullet dodged, And I reported it to the service provider recruiter anyway.

    Didn find that ruining that douche life that day, But it did combine with me.

    CodingBlonde 0 points put up 2 days ago

    Unlikely to take place at Amazon. If Amazon thinks they’d be able to win the lawsuit they won’t take appropriate measures. That sounds fair on top, But the reality is Amazon has a massive amount of resources and they feel at ease skirting on the edge of the law/harassment because they’re the Goliath. You wouldn’t believe the obvious harassment/inappropriateness that goes on and there are no a fallout. amazon marketplace “Investigates” And then closes the way it is without ever taking any serious action.

    H0wl over the m00n 1,541 points given 2 days ago

    But who gives a shit in order to life of an 11 year old girl who was raped? the genuine article that matters is the fetus of the rapist. Who cares that she’ll most likely die when she’s close to or having a baby? Hopefully they can still save the precious fetus. /s

    The lives of women and girls do not matter when we conceive whether by choice, difficulty, Or coerce. I have a serious issue where if I got pregnant and was forced to carry to term, There’s a better chance of both myself and the baby dying, Plus thinning out my horrible genes to said baby. I also cannot take hormonal birth control, So condoms are the only real thing I can do and they’re not 100% effective.

    I’ve brought up these points up to a right winger on Reddit before and I was literally told that I should realize sex has final results. What am I meant to do, Never have a husband or boyfriend again and die alone because I’m [url=https://charmdatescamreviews.wordpress.com/2018/04/17/charmdate-review-reasons-she-is-faking-it-when-dating-a-russian-girl/]Charmdate scam reviews[/url] sick? Because my life is worth less than a baby that might kill me?

    Men need to stop worrying about how much or how little sex we have. It’s fucking creepy and weird.

    CodingBlonde 2 points provided 2 days ago

    What has always been interesting to me is that people who stereotype atheists as amoral humans they do not follow a god are actually projecting. they’re betting that the notion of God has forced them to make better decisions in at least one situation. the concept that someone could make good decisions without the threat of God and the afterlife is foreign to them because they know they would make bad decisions without God. the reality is that many atheists are intrinsically good human beings. it shouldn’t need a god to know right from wrong or keep them in check, They can do it yourself. Over zealous theists cannot know this idea. stacks of theists can, But the ones who use it as an argument against atheism are often wildly spinning out of control human beings who can’t be productive without the structure religion offers.

    CodingBlonde 2 points provided 5 days agoThat being said, This poster looks a lot like a left leaning anti Hilary poster. I wish this sub would be more wary of polarization. Have we learned no from 2016?

    view: I’ll state what I said elsewhere. I don’t think Bernie would approve of the behavior in this sub. Bernie has integrity and is possibly not an ends justifies the means type of person. it seems that the anger and the desire to fight fire with fire. I do not think that Bernie has ever had to sacrifice his integrity; throughout reality, He built his career on his integrity which explains why we love him. I also don’t even think he intends to lower his standards now. So I’m fine if y’all want to support Bernie using the same polarizing tactics that enabled Trump. I don’t think they’ll be effective tactics once time had passed and it’s likely bound to backfire on you in some way. Time will tell. I’d unsubscribe, But I think it is advisable to keep up on the Bernie news so I’ll just remain silent in my corner from now on.

    Cap1206 1 point placed 7 days ago

    associated with. My son was born addicted to my wife anxiety/depression meds (Her doctor said it was essential that my wife was mentally healthy), So he had to spend about a week in the nursery so they may monitor his heart rate. We go in and you need to visit, But mostly we just waited. I was in my wife recovery room with her routine (Caesarian) And we watched way too much HGTV and posted on social media constantly. It a way to pass the time and take your mind off the tension.

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  74. Quickthrowoughp u

    [wiped] 33 points sent in 2 days ago

    personally, I found the obvious way to handle people like that is to completely snub them in every situation except for those absolute necessary. Don talk in them, Don give some thought to them, Don refer to them to coworkers, Just do your personal duties and leave it at that.

    I taken this approach in the research lab I work in and it very effective because even if they can tell what you doing and why, you allow them zero evidence to make their case to anyone higher up. And I don feel truly bad about it either because I not going out of my way to be cruel, I simply choosing not to communicate with someone who views me as inferior by default.

    Quickthrowup 18 points sent in 2 days ago

    sad to say, But it best to evade trash like that. I encountered many Lu with me in a business/corporate workplace. Just in avoiding the fuck out of her and don discuss or talk shit about her.

    prior, I consider this insufferable Lu at my work. She would snub me when I actually had to ask her something, And she act like a whore around select white male team. Most of the black and hispanic employees disliked her also with she was mildly racist towards them.

    Recall one afternoon where coworkers had returned from lunch and couldn figure out the cause of something they ate. To illuminate, They had eaten at dinning and asked me if food was chinese, thai, western, and a lot more. These coworkers were cool and weren coming at me with this bullshit. I remember letting them know food was korean, But food was japanese. I jokingly asked them don you ask Tracy? (Alluding to the Lu at the office). They didn say it like it was a very bad thing though.

    period is, them are obvious to certain people. It usually not a very important thing if (morning) lug this shit up. It upsetting, But doing the whole song and dance is almost an accepted behavior/set of behaviors in this case. It approved that she a faux white girl. inexplicably, I was a single because I claim it and I don run from it.

    She was received as a white washed asian girl. Had I said almost anything to my coworkers (writing shit, and many more) Prior to tomorrow about Tracy, It wouldn have gone well in my circumstances. I realized the managers and other white coworkers low key enjoyed being constantly worshiped and catered to by Tracy. Her place in the business was beyond secure.

    Quickthrowup 1 point created 4 days ago

    somewhat late, But I saw this place. Not a lot of them inside the state and whatever. however, if we there, We to one another. Ya nicely what I saying. And often times (you recognize), most of these brothers don know how to speak english, they come from China or whatever. But even if we can really connect on that level of cla, But as a result of we asian, Imma seek out you. Ain nobody likely to punk him, Like ya figure out I saying. Nobody will rob him, Nobody gonna take absolutely from him. He gonna get everything he alleged to get and that it. know very I saying. And I would go out for that. Cuz you are already aware, seeing that. You know the reason, That my women.

    Quickthrowup 3 points submitted 5 days ago

    this excellent. And hopefully this will instill a similar ceiling policy for white sexpat pedos if they do end up in prison. On a holidaymaker visa and got caught molesting 6 yr old boys. I don even know if he make it through booking without people knowing. He honestly be dead or almost dead in 48 hours.

    I not picking on Koreans. I was just giving one among the absurdity and how asia shouldn permit sexpats to treat E/SE asia as their pedo/rape/sexual disneyland. I research so many wmaf sexpat murders and pedo stories, I lose the path. That how shagged up it is.

    Would love several grouped dudes doing god work.

    Quickthrowup 4 points posted 14 days ago

    approximately the misogynistic, Wife pounding asian man and the tiger mama boy softy, Western media somehow finds a ready, And seemingly obscure Chinese group who both pushes hyper manliness (Not real but for liberal newspaper writers purposes) To counter the now popular kpop inspired male femininity. This article doesn give off vibes of being pro AM the slightest bit.

    last poster, I am not refuting nor looking over the validity of today kpop as a legit soft [url=http://www.cupidseekers.com/category/chinese-dating/]dating chinese women[/url] power. a history is facts. I wanted to indicate that whether we chose it or not, Kpop is actually influencing younger people outside of SK, And globally. It humanizing AM in a few form to (predominantly) Young even though females. Boy bands deal with young women/girls. The bar is set extremely low for positive AM expression imo. glance at the direction CRA went. The AMs we supposed to cheer for are other brands Ken jeong, Jon chu, Kevin kwan, holly golding, therefore.

    Quickthrowup 9 points put up 17 days ago

    Now we know why blacks fucked with Asians and Visa versa this 60s/early 70s before the model minority fuckery went into full effect. ladies like Frank chin, Yuri kochiyama, as well as artist were woke in that raw sense. These activists weren crying about their white partners web to get forks at dim sum or pontificating about their lunches packed from home. no. These activists were addressing white associations, Power components, And institutional racism.

    Now a cartoon like can be considered racist. lol.

    Guys like to put on chain mail armor and make believe you sword fight like it the 16th century. middle ages role play. I fraud victim. sorry to say, Reddit seems to serve as something like a dude reinissance fair of role play. nope swords, that’s just scabbard. definitely good ole trolling. Pretending to be asian in online spaces for the purpose of flexing that white male bravado. To go to the extent of pretending to be both a older asian female, And millennial aged asian male as narrators of creepy WMAF fetish vignettes.

    Mean pretty? A WMAF hapa son impregnating the filipina maid. so, A AMAF friendship where the AF (And both extended holidaymakers) Want a hapa child so bad they thinking IVF. Racist ass dreams.

    Quickthrowup 15 points handed in 26 days ago

    This should serve as an example of how gendered the dating scene/experience is for adolescent/young adult AA An asian guy can really talk about the asians dating policy without sounding salty. It not surprising how these AF dismiss AM so easily. It like they read and consumed everything necessary to publicly clown men that belongs to them race. If this were an Asian American studies class taught by an asian male tutor, This little display would have blown up in prof face imo. It like brainwashed Asian Americans couldn digest or believe any of this fabric if it were spoken by an actual Asian American. Only a white mentor can explain gendered dating issues to actual asian american undergrads. WTF. I can lie as it must be rough to hear shit like this from your female childhood friends with 300+ of your cohorts watching.

    I not sure if this professor would attempt the same social experiment with dark-colored students. I guarantee he would be more circumspect in his word choices and how nonchalantly he described racial issues.

    Was specifically alluding to dating scene lecture. I was imagining something analogous to the asian dating experiment except replacing the participants with african american women and men.

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  97. Wow, your analysis and bedtime schedule is impressing! Thanks for the tips about a swing sleeper, it looks like a must have 🙂 I’m considering to follow the method hold with love or in other words – pick up, put down. For sure it’s better than cry it out…

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