Broken

black tulle dress pink pumps leopard clutch

This past week was by far the toughest week I’ve ever had.  Quite possibly THE WORST one in my entire life and I’m pretty sure I’ve never said something like this publicly.  You guys know I try to be positive and keep things pretty light on my blog and social media but I can’t hide what I’m feeling.  I don’t know if I will ever talk about it.  Behind this smile, I am hurting like I’ve never hurt before.  There are really no words to describe what I’m going through.

black tulle dress pink pumps leopard clutch

I’m trying to draw strength in any way that I can but it is SO hard.  Milan definitely is my light and the reason why I’m surviving.  I haven’t slept or eaten much.  I haven’t blogged in five days and missed my usual Friday post.  I don’t believe I’ve ever gone this many days without posting something.

black tulle dress pink pumps leopard clutch

I know deep down I will get through this but at this very moment, I’m not sure how.  I also know I can’t be the only one feeling this way or going through what I’m going through.  I hope you understand if I may be a bit more quiet here and on social media.  I need to heal and I don’t know how long it will take.  I may not be able to respond to emails, comments or questions but I still read every single one of them so please don’t stop.  I love you guys and thank you for all your kind words of encouragement and prayers.  I need all the love I can get right now. XOXO

black tulle dress pink pumps leopard clutch

Dress: ModCloth tulle dress (size XXS, runs VERY small so size up) | Clutch: Clare V. leopard foldover clutch | Earrings: c/o Ann Taylor pave bow earrings | Shoes: kate spade new york lottie pumps (similar HERE)

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    • Oh sweetie, your words have so much pain 🙁
      God will get you thru!! In my prayers!!! God bless you!!

    • I just want you to know how much fun I have following your blog. You have inspired me, given me confidence and made me feel attractive. I do not have the confidence to put together a cute outfit but always admire others that can. I love reading your updates and seeing what new creations you design so I can imitate the outfit. You know what they say “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! ”
      I always read a daily bible verse and todays verse is from Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you” this is the Lord’s declaration “plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
      Please find comfort in that verse. You are an amazing woman!

    • You have all our support. Do something good for yourself everyday. nurture yourself. Get some rest. Goos things are coming your way

    • I’m so sorry you are having a tough time. It may seem so bleak now but know the sun is on the other side of the trees. Please read Philippians 4:6,7. There God promises to guard our hearts and minds. Talk to God, he promises to listen to us at Ps. 55:22. Isaiah 41:10 shows that God will fortify you and hold onto you with his hand. Take a breath and step back for as long as you need !! Take care of yourself and Milan. You’re important to us but more importantly to your family !! Bookmark those scriptures. I hope they help you. Praying for you as well. 💕

    • Prayers being sent your way!
      You may not know me but I’m here as well as many other women on here who are here if you need someone to listen. 💕
      You are stronger than you think!

    • I’m sorry there is pain in your life. You will survive and it will make you stronger. You are an inspirational blogger so keep it up but take your time to heal.

    • What you are going through in life, you will overcome. You got this beautiful! Sending you hugs and lots of love!

  1. Truly praying for comfort and peace for you. Take your time. We’ll still be here 😊.

  2. So sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Your child is proof of that. You are proof of that. Praying that you find solace and comfort soon. You are not alone. Hugs.

  3. Without rain, nothing grows and we have to learn to embrace the stroms in our lives. Praying for you through this storm.

  4. if you do not know Jesus as your savior please take this horrible time to get to know him. He is the only thing that has got me through many horrible times in my 50 + years. Praying for you.

  5. Annie, I am so very sorry that you are in pain. Please know that there are people who love, care and need you. Take time to take care of yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

  6. Sending love and light your way. I had a painful 2018, and all I can say is stay hopeful. There is a bigger plan and sometimes the hardest times lead is to the greatest joys. Our pains make us stronger and better than ever before. I think of you so often, probably daily, as I wonder If my ensemble is stylish petite worthy. You touch so many lives in such a positive way. We are all here supporting you in whatever way you need. Stay strong. You have this.

  7. Sending a big hug your way. You’re stronger than you think, and you will make it through this. 💗

  8. So sorry. I have been. Take all the Tim you need. Your own healing is more important than anything else.

  9. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world. C.S. Lewis. Please don’t isolate and let your feelings out to loved ones. You will get through this thought it may look dark and scary now there is light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve just gone through such pain and God has had my back every step.

  10. Annie, When you hurt, we hurt. I am sure one of us has gone through the exact same thing you are going through.
    Reach out, stay strong, feel the love.

  11. First, I would like to say the outfit is beautiful and is very attractive on you. Also, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Lifting you up to our Lord and Savior for His comfort and strength.

  12. Annie, hang in there. Just know that what doesn’t break us, only makes us stronger. You will come out of this stronger than ever.

  13. Praying now for healing of your hurt and brokenness. Take one day at a time and rely on God’s strength to see you through this. He never meant for us to go through the pain alone. Love and hugs!

  14. Annie, I am praying for God’s peace to surround you. Your words broke mu heart. Sometimes, He has us to walk through the bad to get to the GOOD❤️

  15. I am so sad that you are hurting.
    I hope you can see a light at the end of the tunnel soon.
    You are an inspiration to many people especially your daughter.
    Try to stay strong, God will lead the way to a better tomorrow.

  16. I’m sure you’ve heard this before and it’s hard to believe when you are in pain, but remember – this too shall pass. Hugs:)

  17. So glad you felt comfortable to write about your pain. Of course everyone is here to support you … and understands.
    You are blessed with a beautiful daughter and it may not feel like it, but you have the strength to get though this!!
    Please share your pain with a close friend… I am sure you are not alone ❤️.

  18. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes that’s the first step in healing yourself. Sending you hugs and strength to help you get through this

  19. I’m praying for you during this difficult time. It’s hard to imagine now but there is a brighter side on the horizon and you will be stronger than you ever thought possible xoxo

  20. Oh Annie. Just remember, “This too shall pass”. Sending love and hugs to you. Hang in there ❤.

  21. Annie, you’re bleeding pain thru your words and I’m truly sorry to see this. We were promised storms, but lean heavy in your faith and your family. Be patient, cry all you need and ask for help when it makes sense for you. Sending you many, MANY hugs. Take the time you need, we’ll all still be around ❌⭕️

  22. Dear Annie, so sorry and pray for you. I don t want to say something which could hurt you so just peace and rest in ordre to heal your heart (sorry, when I m emotionnal I loose all my english knowledge…)

  23. So sorry you’re hurting right now. But know you have so many people thinking about you. Try to stay strong and positive. Take some time for yourself (come down to San Diego!! A change of scenery might help)

  24. *hug* I’m so sorry to hear this. I just wanted to say, it’s okay to not be okay. Sometimes when we are going through something terrible, there’s a lot of pressure to be “strong”, “brave”, especially when there’s a little one to take care of, but I think that pressure can sometimes prevent us from seeking out help we need to truly heal. There is no shame in taking care of yourself and letting your pain show, and no shame in not being “strong” at all times; I actually think true strength is what you’re showing now by talking about this. Please, if you are hurting, seek out a professional to talk to; they can help, and you deserve to heal. I hope this was helpful, and I will be thinking of you.

  25. Annie, I’m sending huge long hugs. Yes we all go through things and sometimes it’s easier to keep to yourself…. but sometimes it’s good to vent and let the hurt out… we are all here for you… we all forget how strong we are as women until we are put to the test…. and you for sure are a tough cookie!
    Sending lots of love!💞💞

  26. I am so sorry that you’re in such pain. It breaks my heart for you. Pray about it, allow yourself to be human and just hug on your little girl. You are an inspiration to all of us. Know that we care about you and from what I see in these comments we are all praying for you. Take time to heal!

  27. I’m so sorry for your pain. Sending strength, love, prayers and hugs! Remember, this too shall pass ❤️

  28. I have never commented on any bloggers posts, but the way you described the pain you are in at this time moved me to tears. I was in such pain a couple years ago and it brought me to my knees. I pray you have Godly friends you can talk to or a pastor. I could not have gotten through it without my Christian friends praying for me and advising me from a biblical viewpoint. My prayers are with you and your family.

  29. Praying for you. I hope you know the healing of God is around you. Keep your head up and know that the situation you are experiencing will not define you. God already has your story written and he would not abandon you and will always keep you shining in his light and wants nothing but success for you. What seems like the worst pain now will only be your testimony tomorrow and make you stronger. Love and prayers to you

  30. I’m sorry, Annie, for what you are going through and the deep pain it is causing you. This too shall pass and you are not alone. Please feel free to reach out if you need a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to listen. Wishing you the best. Take time for you. ~Chelsey

  31. Three words: We. Love. You.

    When you’re down and out, it’s difficult to see the good things in life. My advise is to start each day with one thought of what’s good in your life. Over time, you will heal. I’ve added you to my list of folks I pray for each day. That means you’re very, very special to me and a lot of others!

    Been following your blog for almost a year. It’s such a bright spot in my day. Thank you!

    God bless both you and Milan!

  32. Annie you will get through this and you will smile and feel true happiness again. It’s amazing the strength we can find when we have our children depending on us. They truly are the light in our lives. Take all the time you need. We will be here waiting patiently😘

  33. Annie—— im so sad to see your video of you crying. You are so sweet. I started following you 2 yrs ago when my little battle eczema and i was in the thick of post partum depression. You are always so nice answering me even though you didnt know me. I will forever be grateful. And as you have helped me during my time of need, i will extend my prayers to you during your hard time. May you find strength to get through this. Love you.

  34. Annie, so sorry I couldn’t stay at Fashion Island a little longer so I can hold your head up high and give you a hug in person. Just know that you are so loved and love can conquer anything. Please be strong and don’t be afraid to reach out. Love and kisses from me and my kids (who also love Milan dearly)

  35. Sending many many prayers and lots of love to you. I’m currently going through a tough time in my life too. I lost my grandmother last January and stopped blogging for 3 months before I found the strength and courage to get off my ass. Now My grandfather is in the hospital on a ventilator and it hurts so much. This time, though, I’m trying my best to stay active and productive. It may not be the best method for dealing with this but it’s the only thing I can do right now to keep from falling apart. I pray that you find happiness and strength again soon!

  36. Hi Annie,

    I never comment on blogs and things like that but your post broke my heart. I too know what it feels like to go through something so dark that it feels like the pain may never end. But I promise you, it does. You will find the strength to get through this and it will get better. I promise. Sending you lots of hugs and good wishes!

  37. Annie, please get yourself some help. You have a wonderful husband and daughter and so many people who love you and need you. You sound as if you’re in so much pain and I’m hoping you’ll get help. Your baby needs you to take care of yourself. You’re not ‘broken’. You’re perfectly imperfect at this moment. Love to you and we all await your next post.

  38. I am so sorry that you are going through what you are. I will be lifting you up in prayer! The Lord trades ashes for beauty, hold on tight to HIM. Lean on those that love you! Praying!

  39. Annie, praying so hard for you. We won’t stop reaching out to show you we’re here for you. We totally understand you can’t respond. We’ll continue supporting you and your blog! So much love being sent your way. God will hold you through this.

  40. Oh Annie, I’m so sorry you are having a difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have been a wonderful inspiration to so many and we will be here for you if you need to take a break.

  41. Eek! I feel your pain (this has been such a difficult season for me)! Hang in there my friend I will keep you in my prayers! 💕💕

  42. Praying for you! So very sorry for your pain. You are precious to us and mostly to God who made you. Hold tightly to that truth.

  43. The best action is to keep posting. You have too many of us on your side. As difficult as it may be, don’t give the guilty party the pleasure of quitting. Praying for you and your family.

  44. You are a fantastic mom and business owner. I’ve followed your blog for a few years and hope you know how many people are pulling for you. Stay strong

  45. You are strong. You are powerful. You are worth everything. Take care of yourself, especially for Milan. Let yourself heal and learn. Sending positive thoughts your way.

  46. So sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. I’ve been following you for a couple of years and enjoy all your posts. Your insta stories with Milan always bring a smile to me face. Know that you have a lot of people rooting for you! Sending love and light your way!

  47. So sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time. Give seeing a therapist some thought, real depression sneaks up on you quick and then it’s much harder to get out of. I’ve been there, and therapy helps. Praying you get through this tough time!

  48. I messaged you on Instagram already wishing you the best. Your story last night broke my heart. Seeing you cry made me so sad. I hope you feel better soon!

  49. My prayers and thoughts are with you Annie. Hopefully you will feel better very soon. May God bless you and Milan.

  50. Hi Sweet Lady! I can’t imagine what you are going through. When I am faced with adversity I always try to lean on this as comfort: “Whenever everything seems like it’s falling apart, that’s when God is putting things back together exactly how He wants it.” Many thoughts and prayers sent your way! xoxo

  51. Hi Annie,
    I have gone through dark moments during times that were supposed to be the most joyous. Build your village and get the help you need. I learned so much about myself and have healed coming out stronger than before. Rooting for you in Minnesota.

  52. So sad to read your post. I am sending lots of good vibes and love your way – you have brought so many good vibes and love into my life with your blog!! I hope you have family and friends around you to help you get through whatever you are going through. What doesn’t break you makes you stronger…

  53. I am so sorry to read your note and hear that you are not in a good place. I wish you peace and happiness..

  54. I am so so sorry. You are not alone. I am broken too; betrayed by people closest to us, homeless, destitute and sick. I am so so sorry you are hurting and I understand.

  55. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time. I pray that God would comfort you and bring you peace in the midst of your situation.

  56. Your post was hard to digest which means what you are going through is even worse. I am sorry and I hope that with every minute of every day that things get better even if a little. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Maureen

  57. 2019 is starting out rough. You are not the only one going through the toughest time of her life. Even though it feels lonely, just know you are not alone.

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