New Home + New Beginnings

 New home.  New beginnings.  A second chance at life.  No more tears.  A fresh start.

white kitchen large island new construction

I’ve lost so much this past year (emotionally and financially) but gained back my life and identity.  It’s crazy to think just last year I was building my dream home and then my entire life turned upside down.  This house represents so much more than just a house.  It represents how far I’ve come and how strong I am.  How strong women are.  How strong moms are.  How incredibly strong SINGLE moms are.

I did this all on my own.  With no help from anyone.  I can’t help but fight back the tears.  This time it’s tears of hope.  Tears of joy.  Tears of relief.  So many emotions.  It’s surreal.  I’m scared but hopeful.  I refuse to let my pain turn my heart ugly.  I refuse to allow my past dictate my future.  I want to show you that surviving can be beautiful even if it hurts like hell.

I share my story with the world not so I can get pity or praise but so others know that there is hope.  I share my heart and pain so that if you’re struggling or in a dark place, know that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.  No matter what, the sun will rise and set each day.

I have no idea what’s in store for Milan and I but I do know that we will be more than ok.  I will do whatever it takes to give her the life that she deserves.  The life that we BOTH deserve.  I’m feeling so grateful for the amazing friends and family I have.  We are surrounded by amazing people that only want the best for us (and this includes my virtual family too).  I’ve also been blessed to have met a wonderful man who has shown me how to love again.  I finally know what it feels like to be respected and cherished.

It’s been extremely difficult during this transition period.  I’m not going to lie or sugar coat anything.  I’ve basically started my life over from scratch.  I don’t even have furniture!  I finally bought a dining room table and it felt so liberating.  Milan and I ate on her tiny pink table and chairs for every meal for the past year.  As I type this, tears are rolling down my face uncontrollably.  I’m not sure why but this post is harder than I thought it would be.  In a sense, it’s like mourning my past life.  A life that I knew for almost 20 years.

I have no regrets because all my experiences have molded me into the person I am today and gave me the most precious gift I could ever ask for.  Milan.  My rainbow baby.  My reason for everything.  I am free from narcissism.  I am free from mental, verbal and emotional abuse.  I’ve been given a second chance at life and you better believe that I will never take that for granted.

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  1. Truly love this post today. Your new home is absolutely beautiful but more than anything…it’s yours.
    I was raised by a single mom and although she is gone now, there is not a day that I don’t draw strength from her and how hard she worked to make a life for us and your daughter will do the same.

  2. Congratulations and best wishes on your new, beautiful home! Words cannot express how happy I am for you and Milan…you knew you could do this, and so you did! Now just think of all the fun you’re going to have doing the interior! Confidently move forward in this happy new chapter in your life…you deserve it.

  3. You are so strong and an inspiration! I have also dealt with terrible abuse and narcissism. Knowing that you were victorious gives me hope that I will be able to thrive in my own way.

  4. Congratulations! Thank you for sharing. I celebrate with you as you heal and grow and enjoy life, again 🙂

  5. I confess I haven’t stopped by your blog for a while, so you can’t imagine the joy I felt to see this. I love your house. It’s adorable. It’s what I would consider a dream home! Enjoy it and have the happiest life here. I’m glad you met someone new who makes you happy. You deserve it. I’m tearing up a bit as I write this. I am so happy for you!

  6. So happy and proud of you! I’ve just come through what you’re going through. I just bought a home and new car on my own after divorcing from a 29 yr marriage. I too lost everything and started over and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been other than birthing my 4 kids! 🙂 Keep pushing on, you have many blessings waiting for you! God Bless!

  7. Very happy for you and Milan. Wishing you peace and happiness as you start a new chapter in your lives.

  8. Congratulations!! Your house looks wonderful. I know you will make it a home. Blessings to you and your daughter.
    Grace and peace,
    Marsh

  9. Annie,
    You’re my sweet little sister at heart. I’ve been through the same hurt 26 years ago. I even thought about ending my life but then, a little voice told me that I had been through a lot already and that I would survive as I was a beautiful soul.

    So are you.

    Don’t worry. You are on the right path. It will only get better.

    However, you might still have tears rolling down you beautiful face when you least expect them. It might take a while.

    But as you say you are strong. And when you will feel week, lost and sad, come back here and tell us. We will be here for you dear Annie.

    I wish you the very best and kiss Milan for me.

    Hugs and kisses.

    From Denise in Terrebonne, Quebec (Canada).

  10. Cheers to new beginnings 🥂 May Hod continue to bless you and your little one in ways that you could never imagine 🤗

    • Edited to fix typo
      Cheers to new beginnings 🥂 May Hod continue to bless you and your little one in ways that you could never imagine 🤗

  11. Congratulations on your new home and life. You seem so happy and ready to start this new chapter. Best wishes as you go forward. Thank you for sharing everything. Love your petite advice!

  12. I am so glad you are and your beautiful little daughter are doing well and you seem to be so happy with this–um ok im going to go ahead and say it DROP DEAD good looking man you have!lol-so im having quit a time typing this as I have been at it for a while you see a lot of people think glaucoma is foe the elderly not true it can hit at any age children have it and babies are even born with it -imtelling you this because im 85% blind and I wont be responding to your post as much but want you to know I still keep up with you and wish you all the good luck in the world and wow I do love your new home!

  13. Annie, It’s great you have wonderful friends and a great family for support. I am glad you are going forward in a positive way. You are right in that you are becoming a stronger person. You have a great positive attitude. I have enjoyed seeing pictures of your home. It is a beautiful and you are going to have so much fun decorating.

  14. You are an inspiration Annie! Your courage to share your difficult story is probably the biggest indicator to me of your strength. Whatever negative comments you have ever received in the past are truly unimportant compared to what you have endured (don’t even get me started on trolls who hide behind screens to spread their negative energy and mental issues into the world – ugh – so gross!). I hope women in similar situations as yours have found strength in your story and are also able to find their own way through their difficult journeys. I haven’t gone through what you have this past year, but I will say that your courage during this time has brought me my own version of courage in my past challenging year. I love knowing there are strong women like you in the world! Keep on keeping on!

  15. I’m so proud of you!! Your daughter will be proud of you too when she is older. We have to be role models for our daughters and you are doing an excellent job. I’ve been following your transition and it takes so much courage and strength to do what you have done !! Yasssssssssss queen👑!!

  16. I’m so glad to hear about your happy ending to just a terrible year. Your new home is beautiful. Just like your heart. All the best wishes for you & Milan. 💕

  17. Wishing you and Milan peace and happiness as you start a new chapter in your lives. Best Regards

  18. Hi Annie,

    I am so glad that you’re in a better place and things are turning around. Congrats to you and Milan on your new home and the start of new beginnings. Wishing you all the best!! Thanks for sharing!

    Brooklyn

  19. Hi Annie,

    I’ve been your follower for the past couple of years but have not been active on Instagram so I had no idea what was going on. I’ve always been curious as to how your new home would have looked like now so I decided to check your profile only to find out…Sorry. So sorry to hear your pains and struggles. Looking at your posts on IG, no one would have guessed, no one could have possibly known. It looked like you got it all together. It sure took a lot of courage to smile despite all the scars and gaping wounds. But I’m also very happy for you, that you had the courage to step out, to move out. You’re one strong woman indeed. Your new home, though not as beautiful, is still incredibly stylish, like you. Congratulations! I pray God will give you peace that passeth all understanding. Jesus loves you and He knows where you are. Stay strong.